Hello!
Long time lurker first time poster. I felt compelled to post after the recent events on tiktok yestersay when Aurora made the video regarding Ela's safety online.
I find the whole thing pretty fascinating from a psychological perspective. Sevda to all intents was a normal working mum who happened to blow up on tiktok and now has millions of people watching her videos. The pressure of that must be enormous in a way as ultimately she is trying to make a living from documenting the mundane in life (aka her dinner and packed lunch boxes etc.)
I think some of the hate she gets is unfair (aka her appearance, comments about her weight and her looks etc) there is no denying that as her account and followers grew she should have been more savvy around Ela's safeguarding. On balance I don't fully believe that she deliberately 'pimps' Ela but she's definitely failed to mitigate the risks involved in being known online. I think she believes that as she would never view a child online with any malice or ill intent that no one would. It's sadly simply not true. I think she's shown a serious lack of judgment in the past when it comes to Ela I think she's maybe lost sight of things and convinced herself that her tiktok really is one big family and everyone is watching with purity etc.
What's equally as concerning is recently I've noticed Ela saying things along the lines of 'sorry I didn't know you were doing a video' or 'I don't want to ask you this when you're filming' etc. Whilst I acknowledge that her tiktoks are not the entirety of her day Ela is out at school for a lot of the day and her breakfast and dinner time is time that she should be able to have with her mum and dad uninterrupted. I realise most parents work but their work doesn't involve them ignoring their child throughout dinner. It is sad to watch and I think Sevda has got a little lost along the way whilst trying to make tiktok a career. I remember her in the old days and she was delighted to be able to give up working in the pharmacy so she could be at home and her mentioning that she could spend time with Ela but somewhere along the way you don't get that vibe watching her vids anymore. It's like she's scrambling to hold onto something that doesn't even seem to bring her any joy anymore. When I watch her vids now she looks sad a lot of the time, I cant say I fully blame her it cant be easy to read some of the stuff online about yourself. I know if I knew there was pages and pages about me I would have to read it. I'm sure most of you won't agree with a lot of what I've said, I'm not on here sticking up for her, as stated I think the video put up yesterday was a fair and balanced assessment of what we've all seen on her page. I was pretty shocked to see her response this morning calling Aurora a professional troll. She is seriously lacking in any sort of self awareness and seems incapable of any sort of self reflection which from a psychology stance is concerning
I think she has become completely defensive and unable to evaluate her behaviour. She doesn't have thick enough skin for what she wants to do as a career. I'm not saying that she should let herself be a punching bag but she's unable to accept any small form of criticism or even anyone disagreeing with her. She wants to create an echo chamber of her own thoughts and opinions and unfortunately when you have 1.8m people following you and an open public profile online that's simply not realistic. I honestly think she's started to believe her own propoganda that she is 100% pure and sweet when in reality no one is.
Sevda if you read this and I'm sure you do, try not to take everything as a personal attack. Take a step back from situations, stop blocking and deleting everyone that questions you in any small way. I think people have seen some genuinely concerning things in relation to Ela over the years that you obviously see as innocent (and they may be to you) however the Internet is not a safe place to showcase a small child. You say you're a brilliant mum which is fine that's your opinion you know your household better than anyone online but you cant say that you only show snippets of Ela that's just not rooted in reality.
Anyway that was a long one, I'm not a troll BTW I'm a normal person with a normal life and job and just felt I had to get this off my chest