Thanks everyone for the love.
It still amazes me how people think we are horrible human beings and trolls.
Couldn't be further from the truth. This is evidence of that. Just because we have opinions and concerns that other can't see....yet, does not mean we are not nice people.
I know the answer about my partner really.. I think.... I just think it's 2 years of me hoping things would get better. Also I feel it's my last chance. I stayed 20 years too long in an abusive marriage. I didn't think I would even date again. You know us woman torment ourselves..looking at pics and videos and listening to our playlist. Thinking of every place we have been to.
I was saying to some of the girls at work, if I'm this upset..what does it mean... does it mean I'm mourning what could have been, or I still love him...
I've kept him at arms length for 2 months. (We live quite far apart) Actually one said at work..could u see yourself living with him...and I was like..no way. She said there's your answer.
He keeps messaging every few days.
The other day he said..how are you?
I replied... not sure how to answer that.
His reply...well I'm fed up...been 2 months not seeing each other...this can't go on.
I was fuming. (Still not taking ownership..playing the victim etc over why we are at this point)
I just sent back...I guess there's my answer..it can't go on!
He then came back with...I didn't mean it like that etc etc. I said something childish like....leave me alone and get back on the fing dating apps!
I then went looking at msges from 2 years ago. He was making the same promises and asking for another chance.
Not saying there hasn't been nice times. He's very affectionate. Unfortunately we don't match on a maturity level or intellectual level (certainly not emotional intelligence) and i feel that's important even if it makes me sound like a b.
I told him to go to the Dr's and get some advice and a referral to look into possible Autism + personality disorders. He eventually did....that's another story.. He forgets I know how things work regarding this stuff and can smell bs a mile off.
He doesn't like the fact I figure stuff out about him.
I don't know if to call it, give him more time to see if he is demonstrating that he's getting help/advice or what tbh
I'm nearly 48..and don't know what is the right thing to do...pathetic really! You know when you know too much and are aware that I'm probably trauma bonded and prob been took advantage of and my empathy and care taken as a weakness.
He has said some insensitive things to me about my past which has really hurt. I guess I've given lots of chances..over compensating..in case he is on the spectrum. I've prob been a mug tbh!
My daughter can't stand him. Says he is weird and can't understand why I haven't "binned it off" as they say.
It's not easy when feelings are involved is it...
Oh dear...I've wrote loads
sorry guys. Writing is like therapy for me. Also acting the goat and using humour as a coping mechanism.
Back to A!
Thanks for all your messages. Means alot given you don't know me from Adam!
Hope I haven't triggered or upset anyone with some of the
clean your daughters nails, or better still, teach her how to take care of herself. Thanks LUSM
🎖 fing brilliant
she cried because somebody cut in front of her in the que in M&S her whole life is her phone and talking to herself!
xx
remember this lip hugging number 🫦