I've had an intense search on Google, applying all my knowledge of Mother of the Bride current trends and traditional style, and I have come up with 2 options that will kill it.
This gorgeous concertina number which doubles up as a pogo stick when you've had enough and want to up off and do off outta there, or when you're drunk enough allows you to do your impression of Tigger to the wonderment of all.
This beautiful hedge green dress coat ensemble, which will not only give yourself the ability to not have to rely upon those lazy coatroom assistants, but also gives you two methods of absconding from the area discreetly. Due to the gorgeous green tones, you have the ability to perfectly camouflage yourself in any of the UK's luscious green gardens and woodlands, giving yourself time to wait until the coast is clear before running to the nearest biker pub. If that is not your style, you can always use the wings to fly up high away. Now, it's entirely up to you if you fly away from the area or if you find a perch where you can throw things down at the guests you don't like.