Faceless Friends
I will doOoh I’m so jealous, I LOVE Turkey, I’ve been 3 times. Our last holiday was at Turkey and it’s the best holiday I’ve been on so far, the resort was brilliant. That’s where I was wanting to book again but the prices were crazy. I’ve only been to Marmaris and Izmir but always liked the look of Antalya. You will have to let us know how it is, with some piccies as well please
We have a cruise booked for next year though so I’m really looking forward to that.
I love seaside resorts like Blackpool with the arcades and piers and stuff like that. I think it’s something we may end up doing actually. But yeah you’re right about things still costing a lot staying in the UK. But having said that there’s a lot to do which don’t have to cost a lot too. It’s just a matter of being a bit more savvy with money if you know what I mean, like taking a picnic instead of buying food whilst you’re out etc. xxx
This is my daughter's 4th trip to Turkey this year! 
I've only ever stayed in the Gocek/Fetiye area but my daughter has stayed in Marmaris.
I'm not sure I cud do a cruise. I got sick on just a boat ride in Cornwall
You are right about holidaying in the UK costing as much or little as you want. I love me a picnic but I do love fish and chips on the beach too! Just tastes different.
I was lucky from a holidaying point of view growing up. We had lots of holidays abroad but the ones we remember fondly are the ones in Wales running up and down the sand dunes dodging the dog s lol. I used to get terrible car sick and my lovely mother used to just say... "u are telling yourself u are going to be sick." - Not really...I just knew I wud every time
despite chewing those horrible pink joyride tablets! To this day i can't sit in the back of the car Not sure of your occupation but I use my blue light card for lots of things. It's great.
You can use it (or cud) for Blackpool Tower and pleasure Beach. xx
Before I fall asleep, want to wish Happy hols to @Standupifyouhateaimee
Safe travels.. Let us know u are there ok.
xxx
Safe travels.. Let us know u are there ok.
xxx
Aaahhh love these two!!!! They fell off my FYP. I’m away to go have a lookHas anyone seen these 2 ladies on TT.
There's hope for us oldies yet
Personally, I wasn't a raver...more of a mainstream 90s dance lover but fair play
Aww thanks for saying that.
Re: Jo..maybe I see myself in her a bit. I admit I'm one of those people who like to be liked and I'm a people pleaser. I know very well that this came from having an unmaternal narc of a mother who was not loving at all, no empathy and just negativity. She also put myself and my sister in a prolonged place where we were taken advantage of and that's left trauma. I also think it's why I put up with s for too long. Not saying that's Jo's past but the need for validation comes from different places for people. That's my take on it and I'm not saying I'm right.
You have an early start tomorrow then! Maybe u can hv a nap on the plane. It's quite tricky to do isn't it. My daughter can sleep all way thru a 4 hour flight somehow. She does always bag the window seat tho lol. I end up chatting to the person next to me. Last time it was a well to do old man. He was interesting. His wife didn't get a look in the whole flight.
5 star...how lovely. I'm sure it's gonna be lovely.Is it a week u are going for?
Yep... shein is great and affordable (less so in bigger sizes lol)
I haven’t been disappointed yet. My daughter gets a little from there. Prices have gone up but primark has shot up almost to taking the piss imo!
Definitely animals are worth it. I prefer my conversations with them. We wud get locked up if u heard us
I know it won't stay frozen long when it's hot but worth a try. We've wet a sock before and froze that. We have a rescue chow chow so she gets very hot under that sheep's coat lol
Thank you twinnie. Dittoxx
Honestly twinnie I think we may have been separated at birth
just a couple of years apart though Yeah I do understand what you mean about wanting to be liked and it being a trigger from childhood. I'd say I use to be like that but not so much as I've got older. I use to want to please everyone but it got to the point (for me anyway) that I was putting myself out, loyal to the death but it never worked both ways with some people. So now I have trimmed my friends circle down to only close friends. I am the girl who when a friend left the club before anyone else, I'd walk them to the taxi and go back to the club my own. Even when I was 15 I'd walk past my house to walk my friend home
still would do those things but just not with everyone now. A few years ago I was out and I stepped back off a curb and fracture my ankle (I was drunk but wasn't a drunk thing .. honest!) anyway I couldn't walk on it and one of my friends left me on a bench to go to a party and thankfully another friend stayed with me and some random bloke got me home anyway I am sure I've gone off topic It's awful how things that happen in childhood can shape you isn't it. I think that's why we all have a problem with Aimee because we know the effects it will likely have on H. I'm sorry to hear that your mum was that way and you and your sister and what you went through growing up
you sound like an amazing mum and you obviously was determined to not repeat the cycle (unlike Aimee!) are you close with your sister?My mum wasn't maternal either and when I became a mum I couldn't believe that you couldn't feel anything but pure love for a child and to show them that. My mum wasn't a narc but she was (still is I guess) an alcoholic which I think is another reason Aimee triggers me, because I know how it felt to be second best to alcohol
But I swore I would be the complete opposite to the point I have never drunk in front of my son (although I might have a cocktail this holiday as he is 17
!)But we are stronger for it twinnie and that's something to be proud of!! We are away for 6 days and the hotel does look amazing and we have a swim up room. My son didn't know yet I'm keeping that as a surprise. He's like me (and his dad) we love the water
I very rarely sleep on flights but I only slept 3hrs Friday night so I am so tired but getting ready to leave soon for the airport, so hoping to sleep.I use to love primark too but they are taking the absolute piss out of us with their prices ain't they
those shein bags are brilliant for packing too ! Anyway lovely I better get a coffee and do the last few jobs and get going. 2hr drive to airport parking 
will let you know once I'm there and if the hotel is worth the money 
Xxx
Hey, hope you all don’t mind me joining in?
And I hope you are enjoying the lovely weather
Does anyone have anything nice planned for the school holidays?
Welcome lovely
your drinks looked amazing Ps but have you trimmed that bush yet
xx
I will do
I've only ever stayed in the Gocek/Fetiye area but my daughter has stayed in Marmaris.
I'm not sure I cud do a cruise. I got sick on just a boat ride in Cornwall
You are right about holidaying in the UK costing as much or little as you want. I love me a picnic but I do love fish and chips on the beach too! Just tastes different.
I was lucky from a holidaying point of view growing up. We had lots of holidays abroad but the ones we remember fondly are the ones in Wales running up and down the sand dunes dodging the dog s lol. I used to get terrible car sick and my lovely mother used to just say... "u are telling yourself u are going to be sick." - Not really...I just knew I wud every time
Not sure of your occupation but I use my blue light card for lots of things. It's great.
I am getting off my phone now but before I go ....was the dog s white
Never see white dog s anymore
xxx
I will do
I've only ever stayed in the Gocek/Fetiye area but my daughter has stayed in Marmaris.
I'm not sure I cud do a cruise. I got sick on just a boat ride in Cornwall
You are right about holidaying in the UK costing as much or little as you want. I love me a picnic but I do love fish and chips on the beach too! Just tastes different.
I was lucky from a holidaying point of view growing up. We had lots of holidays abroad but the ones we remember fondly are the ones in Wales running up and down the sand dunes dodging the dog s lol. I used to get terrible car sick and my lovely mother used to just say... "u are telling yourself u are going to be sick." - Not really...I just knew I wud every time
Not sure of your occupation but I use my blue light card for lots of things. It's great.
I’ve never done a cruise before so I’m hoping I don’t get sick
my daughter gets bad travel sickness though so I’m keeping my fingers crossed she will be ok. We give her one of those joyride tablets before going anywhere in the car and she hates them It’s the P&O Iona we are going on and from what I’ve seen it’s a big ship so I’m hoping if the sea is a bit choppy that it won’t be felt too much.
I’m the same with the UK holidays I had when I was a child, and the UK hols we have took our kids on. Can’t beat a good Haven or centre parcs. A bit of bingo, the kids disco, the kids coming back to ask for some money that they can use on the 2p machines, getting a load of those tickets from the arcade where you can exchange them for some tacky crap from the shop
Good memories 
I’m an NHS slave so I use my blue light when I can, before booking or buying anything I always check to see if there’s a code I can use. We can get some pretty good deals on there don’t we. Xxx
Yeah..I'm sure on the bigger ships...u don't feel the motion as much. I also used to wear those acupuncture wrist bands to help. May help your daughter.I’ve never done a cruise before so I’m hoping I don’t get sick
It’s the P&O Iona we are going on and from what I’ve seen it’s a big ship so I’m hoping if the sea is a bit choppy that it won’t be felt too much.
I’m the same with the UK holidays I had when I was a child, and the UK hols we have took our kids on. Can’t beat a good Haven or centre parcs. A bit of bingo, the kids disco, the kids coming back to ask for some money that they can use on the 2p machines, getting a load of those tickets from the arcade where you can exchange them for some tacky crap from the shop
I’m an NHS slave so I use my blue light when I can, before booking or buying anything I always check to see if there’s a code I can use. We can get some pretty good deals on there don’t we. Xxx
It's a horrible sensation...especially when the saliva increases. Oh and i give the dog a ginger biscuit.. so that helps! When me and my ex went to the arcades...we still exchanging our tickets
just like the kids! Only had enough for sweets but still nice 
Bluelight is brilliant. Definitely worth the money. My daughter is always saying...have u got a code for.........? xx
Honestly twinnie I think we may have been separated at birth
Yeah I do understand what you mean about wanting to be liked and it being a trigger from childhood. I'd say I use to be like that but not so much as I've got older. I use to want to please everyone but it got to the point (for me anyway) that I was putting myself out, loyal to the death but it never worked both ways with some people. So now I have trimmed my friends circle down to only close friends. I am the girl who when a friend left the club before anyone else, I'd walk them to the taxi and go back to the club my own. Even when I was 15 I'd walk past my house to walk my friend home
It's awful how things that happen in childhood can shape you isn't it. I think that's why we all have a problem with Aimee because we know the effects it will likely have on H. I'm sorry to hear that your mum was that way and you and your sister and what you went through growing up
My mum wasn't maternal either and when I became a mum I couldn't believe that you couldn't feel anything but pure love for a child and to show them that. My mum wasn't a narc but she was (still is I guess) an alcoholic which I think is another reason Aimee triggers me, because I know how it felt to be second best to alcohol
But I swore I would be the complete opposite to the point I have never drunk in front of my son (although I might have a cocktail this holiday as he is 17
But we are stronger for it twinnie and that's something to be proud of!! We are away for 6 days and the hotel does look amazing and we have a swim up room. My son didn't know yet I'm keeping that as a surprise. He's like me (and his dad) we love the water
I use to love primark too but they are taking the absolute piss out of us with their prices ain't they
I just wanted to jump on the conversation you and nosey are having because I can also relate to what you are both saying about having a narcissistic mother. I am 100% the same as both of you about being a people pleaser etc. I wish our parents knew how much their actions would damage us all as adults. I’ve mentioned this before on Aimee’s thread and got some lovely support.
Since becoming a mum myself I just cannot imagine treating my kids with anything other than love and adoration. I am just in awe of them. It made me see that my own mum was not very maternal and my dad too. My dad was so nasty to me growing up. It’s really fed me up xxx
Jump in!
I am sorry you can relate tbh cuz it's s isn't it..
I agree...childhood definitely shapes who we become as an adult and it leaves us vulnerable to people who want us for the wrong reasons ir take advantage.
I also agree that it showed us how not to 'parent' like them. I am very protective over my kids and when people mistreat them, betray or disrespect them..the lioness comes out in me.
(and has done!!) Don't do with mothers! Unless u are Wendy or Aimee of course!
They can kid themselves all they like that they are good mothers. Besides the basic needs of a child, they need guiding not enabling. Kids need to take ownership of their behaviour and wrong doings and always being agreed with or told yes is not good parenting.
I can tell that nearly everyone who is a mum on As thread are likely to be good mothers because of the way they are disgusted and shocked by her. You also can't buy kids...they will not thank you for it in the long run. As I said...i had a privileged upbringing with lovely holidays and presents, but all i wanted was love and attention. I can not recall one cuddle or reassurance we ever got from her! That's the truth of it.
I am far from a perfect mother but a million times better than mine and those 2 on TT.
I do believe the pages of a book in our life make our future, and each chapter is not always our fault... particularly the early ones. Despite therapy for my childhood, I am still very resentful. I have had to distance myself completely from my mother as she has not acknowledged what me and my sister and I went through or said, sorry for letting us down. (Only..."OK, i was an awful mother," victim playing)
She now wants hugs, attention etc and I just can't do it. I also can't lie or be fake. I know ppl say you only get one mother but they aren't the ones who had mothers like ours?
It's always good to speak to ppl who get it and have similar stories as we relate to one another. Thanks for sharing and here's to the mums doing our very best
xxx
Honestly twinnie I think we may have been separated at birth
Yeah I do understand what you mean about wanting to be liked and it being a trigger from childhood. I'd say I use to be like that but not so much as I've got older. I use to want to please everyone but it got to the point (for me anyway) that I was putting myself out, loyal to the death but it never worked both ways with some people. So now I have trimmed my friends circle down to only close friends. I am the girl who when a friend left the club before anyone else, I'd walk them to the taxi and go back to the club my own. Even when I was 15 I'd walk past my house to walk my friend home
It's awful how things that happen in childhood can shape you isn't it. I think that's why we all have a problem with Aimee because we know the effects it will likely have on H. I'm sorry to hear that your mum was that way and you and your sister and what you went through growing up
My mum wasn't maternal either and when I became a mum I couldn't believe that you couldn't feel anything but pure love for a child and to show them that. My mum wasn't a narc but she was (still is I guess) an alcoholic which I think is another reason Aimee triggers me, because I know how it felt to be second best to alcohol
But I swore I would be the complete opposite to the point I have never drunk in front of my son (although I might have a cocktail this holiday as he is 17
But we are stronger for it twinnie and that's something to be proud of!! We are away for 6 days and the hotel does look amazing and we have a swim up room. My son didn't know yet I'm keeping that as a surprise. He's like me (and his dad) we love the water
I use to love primark too but they are taking the absolute piss out of us with their prices ain't they
Well we aren't called Twinnies for no reasonHonestly twinnie I think we may have been separated at birth
Yeah I do understand what you mean about wanting to be liked and it being a trigger from childhood. I'd say I use to be like that but not so much as I've got older. I use to want to please everyone but it got to the point (for me anyway) that I was putting myself out, loyal to the death but it never worked both ways with some people. So now I have trimmed my friends circle down to only close friends. I am the girl who when a friend left the club before anyone else, I'd walk them to the taxi and go back to the club my own. Even when I was 15 I'd walk past my house to walk my friend home
It's awful how things that happen in childhood can shape you isn't it. I think that's why we all have a problem with Aimee because we know the effects it will likely have on H. I'm sorry to hear that your mum was that way and you and your sister and what you went through growing up
My mum wasn't maternal either and when I became a mum I couldn't believe that you couldn't feel anything but pure love for a child and to show them that. My mum wasn't a narc but she was (still is I guess) an alcoholic which I think is another reason Aimee triggers me, because I know how it felt to be second best to alcohol
But I swore I would be the complete opposite to the point I have never drunk in front of my son (although I might have a cocktail this holiday as he is 17
But we are stronger for it twinnie and that's something to be proud of!! We are away for 6 days and the hotel does look amazing and we have a swim up room. My son didn't know yet I'm keeping that as a surprise. He's like me (and his dad) we love the water
I use to love primark too but they are taking the absolute piss out of us with their prices ain't they
We may be triplets now lol @TillyLou
I hope you had a good flight and the hotel is lovely. I'm sure it will be.
I'm still making the same mistakes at my age so as i said before... I haven't learned from my mistakes yet. I think there has been too much gone on and it's fed all my thought processes and decisions up.
I'm a good reflector but it's too late by then. Damage is done.
If my mother had made different decisions when i was a kid or been an actual mother, damage wudnt hv been done either!
You sound like you have always been a good person with a good heart. I am sorry to hear that about your mum and the inevitable effect it would have had on you....
Have the holiday you deserve
xx(unlike Aimee..she doesn't deserve it and hasn't worked for her money like the rest of us)
Jump in!
I am sorry you can relate tbh cuz it's s isn't it..
I agree...childhood definitely shapes who we become as an adult and it leaves us vulnerable to people who want us for the wrong reasons ir take advantage.
I also agree that it showed us how not to 'parent' like them. I am very protective over my kids and when people mistreat them, betray or disrespect them..the lioness comes out in me.
Don't do with mothers! Unless u are Wendy or Aimee of course!
They can kid themselves all they like that they are good mothers. Besides the basic needs of a child, they need guiding not enabling. Kids need to take ownership of their behaviour and wrong doings and always being agreed with or told yes is not good parenting.
I can tell that nearly everyone who is a mum on As thread are likely to be good mothers because of the way they are disgusted and shocked by her. You also can't buy kids...they will not thank you for it in the long run. As I said...i had a privileged upbringing with lovely holidays and presents, but all i wanted was love and attention. I can not recall one cuddle or reassurance we ever got from her! That's the truth of it.
I am far from a perfect mother but a million times better than mine and those 2 on TT.
I do believe the pages of a book in our life make our future, and each chapter is not always our fault... particularly the early ones. Despite therapy for my childhood, I am still very resentful. I have had to distance myself completely from my mother as she has not acknowledged what me and my sister and I went through or said, sorry for letting us down. (Only..."OK, i was an awful mother," victim playing)
She now wants hugs, attention etc and I just can't do it. I also can't lie or be fake. I know ppl say you only get one mother but they aren't the ones who had mothers like ours?
It's always good to speak to ppl who get it and have similar stories as we relate to one another. Thanks for sharing and here's to the mums doing our very best
OMG! I couldn’t have worded that any better myself!
I was also lucky to have a lot of holidays when I was younger, but being privileged from that point of view doesn’t make up for all of the se treatment that was given to me.They will always throw that back in my face that I was given this, that and the other etc. and that I shouldn’t be ungrateful. So it’s like therefore I’m selfish in their opinion.
As an adult I really struggle with self esteem. I always over think things and the tiniest bit of criticism or disagreement (good or bad) takes over my brain and sets off my anxiety. It’s been programmed into my brain that I deserve to be absolutely bollocked.
You know when you see on Facebook when it’s times like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, people saying the most loveliest things about their parents, how amazing they are, couldn’t live without them etc- it feels so strange to me because I could never say something like that and genuinely mean it. The first time I noticed it, it shocked me and made me feel really sad that I don’t have that kind of relationship with my parents.
Me and my mam went out for a coffee one day and it felt so awkward to me. It was strained and felt unnatural.
A few years back I had a health emergency and all of a sudden my mam became this loving mother, always checking on me and even saying the words ‘love you’ and it made me feel so so uncomfortable. It’s really sad when you think about it isn’t it.
And the fact that she all of a sudden become ‘loving’ was when I had that health scare. Her being nice to me didn’t last long anyway.
Me and my mother regularly have disagreements. She is always criticising me for one thing or another and many a times I have been close to cutting all contact with her. I truly believe that the root cause of my anxiety and low self esteem comes from my upbringing and it’s absolutely fed my life up. Life is so fing short and I wish I could just lead a life without judgement, criticism and walking on eggshells around my parents.
Yes, we all get one mother, but that gives them no right to batter our mental health but then still expect us to give them unconditional love.
Apologies for rambling on, but Thank you for the support. It’s nice being able to talk to people who have experienced the same. Xxx
Do we all have the same mum?
Also a child of a narcissistic mother
So much so, recently had to block her out my life because she called me ignorant for not needing her through my health battles.
I’ve done a lot of therapy and do understand that we are all put on this earth to serve a purpose. My mums was to show me the type of parent I wanted to be, by being everything she was. I mean that in the nicest way. She could only be what she was nurtured to be by my gran. Who by the way is very well to do but my mum was a rebel.
I grew up and left at 17, never been back. I’d rather be on my arse than go back. She’s an amazing grandparent and she’s making up for her mistakes but she’s still a narcissist, functioning alcoholic. It would upset me she was never the mum I needed or wanted, so I became that to my daughter.
She will never change and I have now accepted that.
My dad left when I was 1, and my stepdad has been about since I was 3.
We haven’t always got on but I love the bones of him because he actively changed his life, he’s said sorry for his mistakes. My mother won’t ever.
This made me a natural people pleaser, doing things to make my parents happy so I could see happy emotions, and be the cause of them.
But I equally do not take praise or compliments well because I was never praised as a child so I can’t process the emotions as an adult.
I am an internal sufferer. If I’m upset I am deathly quiet, but again this was because I was left to comfort myself as a child, and figure out my own emotions and validate them, that I can’t talk (still in therapy for this).
My daughter thinks I have my s together and I really don’t, so I can see why I would have expected better of my parents when I was young, they were equally winging it.
That being said, I do hold them accountable for a lot because you do still know right from wrong. You can always make better decisions (if you’re of the mental capacity).
I just punish myself by my negative thoughts about it all, not them. So I’ve learnt to drop it now.
Accept they are who they are, I’m not in a position to need them, so how they choose to be doesn’t affect me anymore, and what did affect me happened in the past so can’t let it ruin the ‘now’. I’m over it, I got through it.
Our success rate for getting through life’s hardship is 100%. We’re doing real good ladies
Also a child of a narcissistic mother
So much so, recently had to block her out my life because she called me ignorant for not needing her through my health battles.
I’ve done a lot of therapy and do understand that we are all put on this earth to serve a purpose. My mums was to show me the type of parent I wanted to be, by being everything she was. I mean that in the nicest way. She could only be what she was nurtured to be by my gran. Who by the way is very well to do but my mum was a rebel.
I grew up and left at 17, never been back. I’d rather be on my arse than go back. She’s an amazing grandparent and she’s making up for her mistakes but she’s still a narcissist, functioning alcoholic. It would upset me she was never the mum I needed or wanted, so I became that to my daughter.
She will never change and I have now accepted that.
My dad left when I was 1, and my stepdad has been about since I was 3.
We haven’t always got on but I love the bones of him because he actively changed his life, he’s said sorry for his mistakes. My mother won’t ever.
This made me a natural people pleaser, doing things to make my parents happy so I could see happy emotions, and be the cause of them.
But I equally do not take praise or compliments well because I was never praised as a child so I can’t process the emotions as an adult.
I am an internal sufferer. If I’m upset I am deathly quiet, but again this was because I was left to comfort myself as a child, and figure out my own emotions and validate them, that I can’t talk (still in therapy for this).
My daughter thinks I have my s together and I really don’t, so I can see why I would have expected better of my parents when I was young, they were equally winging it.
That being said, I do hold them accountable for a lot because you do still know right from wrong. You can always make better decisions (if you’re of the mental capacity).
I just punish myself by my negative thoughts about it all, not them. So I’ve learnt to drop it now.
Accept they are who they are, I’m not in a position to need them, so how they choose to be doesn’t affect me anymore, and what did affect me happened in the past so can’t let it ruin the ‘now’. I’m over it, I got through it.
Our success rate for getting through life’s hardship is 100%. We’re doing real good ladies
Aw Tilly I felt this to the core
I just mentioned my health stuff too with my mum. Xx
You don't need to apologise to me as I'm the rambling queen!
I've also had it thrown in my face! They got me out of a toxic marriage and set me up again a day bought all the beds and white goods etc. I will always be grateful for that but it should be unconditional love!
"Look at everything we've done for you and you just don't care about us"
I just cudnt do with her provocative, critical and gaslighting messages at all hours. Trying to control everything. Sitting on her arse ll day and half the night and wondering why I did not have time to chat 24/7. Ummm...work!
If i ever complained about something the kids did (we all do it surely sometimes)
She wud say.. "u wanted them" that was it. I never said or insinuated I didn't want them. Just that they were playing up that day or something (as lids do sometimes)
I'm not alone in my views and opinions on my mother. She's well known for 'throwing petrol on the fire...running off and complaining she got burnt!'
Feels good to get it off our chest eh
xx
You don't need to apologise to me as I'm the rambling queen!
I've also had it thrown in my face! They got me out of a toxic marriage and set me up again a day bought all the beds and white goods etc. I will always be grateful for that but it should be unconditional love!
"Look at everything we've done for you and you just don't care about us"
I just cudnt do with her provocative, critical and gaslighting messages at all hours. Trying to control everything. Sitting on her arse ll day and half the night and wondering why I did not have time to chat 24/7. Ummm...work!
If i ever complained about something the kids did (we all do it surely sometimes)
She wud say.. "u wanted them" that was it. I never said or insinuated I didn't want them. Just that they were playing up that day or something (as lids do sometimes)
I'm not alone in my views and opinions on my mother. She's well known for 'throwing petrol on the fire...running off and complaining she got burnt!'
Feels good to get it off our chest eh
It sounds like we are all peas in the same pod. Like Mrs full Monty said, I also struggle to accept praise and compliments. I never believe anyone when they say something nice about me or to me. Even when my husband compliments me, I struggle to believe him. I always say that he only says it because he’s my husband. There’s always something that my mam or dad will criticise me about, so it’s just expected.
But on a positive note as you said, it’s made us know what kind of parent we don’t want to be
You are right, it is good to get it off our chest, and it’s so nice talking to you all who understand
I've missed this post...sorryDo we all have the same mum?
Also a child of a narcissistic mother
So much so, recently had to block her out my life because she called me ignorant for not needing her through my health battles.
I’ve done a lot of therapy and do understand that we are all put on this earth to serve a purpose. My mums was to show me the type of parent I wanted to be, by being everything she was. I mean that in the nicest way. She could only be what she was nurtured to be by my gran. Who by the way is very well to do but my mum was a rebel.
I grew up and left at 17, never been back. I’d rather be on my arse than go back. She’s an amazing grandparent and she’s making up for her mistakes but she’s still a narcissist, functioning alcoholic. It would upset me she was never the mum I needed or wanted, so I became that to my daughter.
She will never change and I have now accepted that.
My dad left when I was 1, and my stepdad has been about since I was 3.
We haven’t always got on but I love the bones of him because he actively changed his life, he’s said sorry for his mistakes. My mother won’t ever.
This made me a natural people pleaser, doing things to make my parents happy so I could see happy emotions, and be the cause of them.
But I equally do not take praise or compliments well because I was never praised as a child so I can’t process the emotions as an adult.
I am an internal sufferer. If I’m upset I am deathly quiet, but again this was because I was left to comfort myself as a child, and figure out my own emotions and validate them, that I can’t talk (still in therapy for this).
My daughter thinks I have my s together and I really don’t, so I can see why I would have expected better of my parents when I was young, they were equally winging it.
That being said, I do hold them accountable for a lot because you do still know right from wrong. You can always make better decisions (if you’re of the mental capacity).
I just punish myself by my negative thoughts about it all, not them. So I’ve learnt to drop it now.
Accept they are who they are, I’m not in a position to need them, so how they choose to be doesn’t affect me anymore, and what did affect me happened in the past so can’t let it ruin the ‘now’. I’m over it, I got through it.
Our success rate for getting through life’s hardship is 100%. We’re doing real good ladies
I'm nipping out to get a few bits but I'm going to reply when i return 
xx
Guys I'm here safe. Just going to find out bearings and have tea then might get a early one so wake up fresh for tomorrow. It's cloudy and windy today so be good day to catch up on some sleep. It's supposed to be nice the rest of the week. But I want to reply properly so will come back on later or tomorrow as sounds like we are actually quads 🩷🩷🩷🩷
Amazing women who I feel privilege to know on here, I mean that from the bottom of my heart
🩷🩷🩷🩷 Amazing women who I feel privilege to know on here, I mean that from the bottom of my heart