Thissinglemama @thissinglemamaofficial

noseyneighbour said:

Go for it..I love a poll xx

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My blokes week of twatishness - I know my girls on here will hear me
1
sent him to collect fancy dress costumes that I had ordered and paid for - Tarzan & Jane - comes back with and fing ( fuming)
Like no way on gods Green earth am I waking about as bloody to his
I needed to sort something quick so I borrowed a friends Marilyn Munro get up n told him to sort himself something but I wasnt talking to him - sends me a text saying his mate has got a 70s rod stewart outfit - Jesus Christ !!!!! not even joking it was more jimmy saville than Rod Stewart ! I’m even more pissed off - specially when we get home n he’s pissed sitting on the end of the bed n I wake up to jimmy saville in full wig n animal print y fronts playing if you think I’m sexy on his guitar at 4 in the morning! - not enough to warrant a battering with the cucumber? Well if you don’t think so yet - buckle up … yesterday my utterly bonkers brain nob head bought - yes bought - without giving me ANY warning - wait for it ….. not 1 but 2 geriatric DONKEYS! - and part 3 is the worst but if anyone wants to hear? X

Puffy nips and stinky vag said:

Unless you have any advise on how to stop yourself from beating your spouse to death with a cucumber and feeding him to the foxes babe - no. Blokes are just a different species and at the minute I’m considering getting a refund on mine n looking for a Dave!

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Are you ok? x

TillyLou said:

So happy when alcohol is around

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Disgusting

lexilou said:

Won't be back near au now. She such a vile smug fat disgusting greasy little tramp!

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All she did the haul for!
I bet they’re chuffed to nuts she can’t even remember which she’s tried! Not exactly promoting a memorable product

Missy said:

You don’t want to know really it’s a scary place out there

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Oh i do lol. Nothing fazes me..at all! Do u know whst they do then?!

noseyneighbour said:

I would love to be a nit nurse or a spot picking nurse

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I’m signing you both up to the odd ball therapy clinic

Aimee5bellies said:

AU sent her tons more cans to try. As if that functioning alcoholic needs any more alcohol in her life and now another brand who’s lost my custom.. I’ll stick to Smirnoff

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Well they sell this in Costco so she missed a treat today! They’re always passing the samples round - her idea of heaven!

Puffy nips and stinky vag said:

Unless you have any advise on how to stop yourself from beating your spouse to death with a cucumber and feeding him to the foxes babe - no. Blokes are just a different species and at the minute I’m considering getting a refund on mine n looking for a Dave!

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Are you ok? x

Puffy nips and stinky vag said:

My blokes week of twatishness - I know my girls on here will hear me
1
sent him to collect fancy dress costumes that I had ordered and paid for - Tarzan & Jane - comes back with and fing ( fuming)
Like no way on gods Green earth am I waking about as bloody to his
I needed to sort something quick so I borrowed a friends Marilyn Munro get up n told him to sort himself something but I wasnt talking to him - sends me a text saying his mate has got a 70s rod stewart outfit - Jesus Christ !!!!! not even joking it was more jimmy saville than Rod Stewart ! I’m even more pissed off - specially when we get home n he’s pissed sitting on the end of the bed n I wake up to jimmy saville in full wig n animal print y fronts playing if you think I’m sexy on his guitar at 4 in the morning! - not enough to warrant a battering with the cucumber? Well if you don’t think so yet - buckle up … yesterday my utterly bonkers brain nob head bought - yes bought - without giving me ANY warning - wait for it ….. not 1 but 2 geriatric DONKEYS! - and part 3 is the worst but if anyone wants to hear? X

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I must apologise but I did laugh a bit at the thought of a hotdog outfit. Would prefer not to wear it tho!
Men cannot be trusted to do a simple task can they?!

I'm guessing the rod steward/Saville get up wasn't a turn on...

I'm not gonna slate him for the donkeys cuz I wud be so happy lol but I sense there is more to it.... don't u need a licence for them GEFRA or something...or is that goats?? I love

Awaiting part 3 and more clarification por favor ❤x

AllNipsNoTits said:

All she did the haul for!
I bet they’re chuffed to nuts she can’t even remember which she’s tried! Not exactly promoting a memorable product

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Predictable t!

Puffy nips and stinky vag said:

My blokes week of twatishness - I know my girls on here will hear me
1
sent him to collect fancy dress costumes that I had ordered and paid for - Tarzan & Jane - comes back with and fing ( fuming)
Like no way on gods Green earth am I waking about as bloody to his
I needed to sort something quick so I borrowed a friends Marilyn Munro get up n told him to sort himself something but I wasnt talking to him - sends me a text saying his mate has got a 70s rod stewart outfit - Jesus Christ !!!!! not even joking it was more jimmy saville than Rod Stewart ! I’m even more pissed off - specially when we get home n he’s pissed sitting on the end of the bed n I wake up to jimmy saville in full wig n animal print y fronts playing if you think I’m sexy on his guitar at 4 in the morning! - not enough to warrant a battering with the cucumber? Well if you don’t think so yet - buckle up … yesterday my utterly bonkers brain nob head bought - yes bought - without giving me ANY warning - wait for it ….. not 1 but 2 geriatric DONKEYS! - and part 3 is the worst but if anyone wants to hear? X

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Sorry but real life donkeys?? Where will they live??

noseyneighbour said:

Tell us more

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Basically I was out with my sister. I saw her car when we got there. It sticks out like a sore thumb being that colour! We were walking down the retail park and next thing I see her carrying three big bags! She was going to her car to put them in. Said to my sister who she was and I bet she gets her phone out and starts filming. Next thing she’s walking towards Asda and gets her phone out and started recording herself Saw her in Asda filming a shelf and taking to her phone We left Asda to go to another shop. Then when we came out we saw her AGAIN, carrying a Costa to her car
She’s defo a size 14-16 and her face is rounder like the studio lights. Not like in her kitchen

What in the name of god … is she wearing 🫨 she makes clothes look se!

This Is Not An Ad said:

Basically I was out with my sister. I saw her car when we got there. It sticks out like a sore thumb being that colour! We were walking down the retail park and next thing I see her carrying three big bags! She was going to her car to put them in. Said to my sister who she was and I bet she gets her phone out and starts filming. Next thing she’s walking towards Asda and gets her phone out and started recording herself Saw her in Asda filming a shelf and taking to her phone We left Asda to go to another shop. Then when we came out we saw her AGAIN, carrying a Costa to her car
She’s defo a size 14-16 and her face is rounder like the studio lights. Not like in her kitchen

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A videos been posted about this trip out

thelurker66 said:

A videos been posted about this trip out

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And here it is

noseyneighbour said:

Are you ok? x

I must apologise but I did laugh a bit at the thought of a hotdog outfit. Would prefer not to wear it tho!
Men cannot be trusted to do a simple task can they?!

I'm guessing the rod steward/Saville get up wasn't a turn on...

I'm not gonna slate him for the donkeys cuz I wud be so happy lol but I sense there is more to it.... don't u need a licence for them GEFRA or something...or is that goats?? I love

Awaiting part 3 and more clarification por favor ❤x

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Part 3 - we have a holiday booked - been booked months and cos nob head runs quite a big business- I worked round his dates. Found out only Yesterday that he’s booked a golfing trip with the lads - am I bothered about him going away? Nope! Am I bothered that it’s straight before we go and he thinks he’s going off playing knock a ball run for a week n then get a flight home leaving 10 hours before we leave for the airport and not only that - expecting me to pack for him for second hollibob - GURL HOLD MA WEAVE!
Oh and part 4
he put my Egyptian Cotton bedding in the wash with a a yellow duster
And lastly he forgot to put the recycling bin out - the only thing I asked him to bloody do !
Now girls - tell me he is not a t and will get my bum out in Tescos window
He has got reasons for every single one and I am being unreasonable apparently
Oh revenge is very sweet cos he can get ready ! 🫣

And TillyLou - no shagging up a tree for him in the forseable

Puffy nips and stinky vag said:

My blokes week of twatishness - I know my girls on here will hear me
1
sent him to collect fancy dress costumes that I had ordered and paid for - Tarzan & Jane - comes back with and fing ( fuming)
Like no way on gods Green earth am I waking about as bloody to his
I needed to sort something quick so I borrowed a friends Marilyn Munro get up n told him to sort himself something but I wasnt talking to him - sends me a text saying his mate has got a 70s rod stewart outfit - Jesus Christ !!!!! not even joking it was more jimmy saville than Rod Stewart ! I’m even more pissed off - specially when we get home n he’s pissed sitting on the end of the bed n I wake up to jimmy saville in full wig n animal print y fronts playing if you think I’m sexy on his guitar at 4 in the morning! - not enough to warrant a battering with the cucumber? Well if you don’t think so yet - buckle up … yesterday my utterly bonkers brain nob head bought - yes bought - without giving me ANY warning - wait for it ….. not 1 but 2 geriatric DONKEYS! - and part 3 is the worst but if anyone wants to hear? X

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I’m really sorry but that did give me a giggle.
But.. bought 2 donkeys?? whatever was he thinking doing that?
But yes, please tell us part 3

Puffy nips and stinky vag said:

And TillyLou - no shagging up a tree for him in the forseable

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I don’t blame you love He can have fun with his donkeys

Puffy nips and stinky vag said:

Part 3 - we have a holiday booked - been booked months and cos nob head runs quite a big business- I worked round his dates. Found out only Yesterday that he’s booked a golfing trip with the lads - am I bothered about him going away? Nope! Am I bothered that it’s straight before we go and he thinks he’s going off playing knock a ball run for a week n then get a flight home leaving 10 hours before we leave for the airport and not only that - expecting me to pack for him for second hollibob - GURL HOLD MA WEAVE!
Oh and part 4
he put my Egyptian Cotton bedding in the wash with a a yellow duster
And lastly he forgot to put the recycling bin out - the only thing I asked him to bloody do !
Now girls - tell me he is not a t and will get my bum out in Tescos window
He has got reasons for every single one and I am being unreasonable apparently
Oh revenge is very sweet cos he can get ready ! 🫣

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He definitely deserves a whack with a cucumber gimme the details of the hol and I’ll go with you instead

lexilou said:

Won't be back near au now. She such a vile smug fat disgusting greasy little tramp!

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Ffs I love the blue AU

Missy said:

You don’t want to know really it’s a scary place out there

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Don’t want to out myself but it’s along the lines of enforcement and before the Huns start - I am not a Bobby!