jodie-leigh @deadringxr

Feb 28, 2024
129
101
43
did You fall out with all 28 discord members? That’s a lot of people??
I think you should find a twitch or youtube streamer to chat too. Some of the nicest people on there if your into gaming or something?
There’s some I still kinda speak to/mutuals with you know and say hello and stuff
The group sort of dissected in the end (started from the Harley days pls don’t judge me on that💀) I honestly can’t remember how many were in there at the start but it was a lot please don’t quote me on the number

You had all sorts of people in there and it just dropped in numbers. Usually because someone was a t. One of the people with #fishwives saying they left the group because of me for example - they were making out they needed a kidney transplant and ended up being a dangerous person so we all just didn’t talk to her again when she left voluntarily
I caused problems but so did everyone else and I apologised to one of them that I was fully out of order with and she apologised to me too.

So many people in there with different ages, different personalities, i didn’t go in screaming and angry at someone because i was triggered and relapsed and it all blew up from there because i didn’t give the energy wanted or expected.

On a real level i think im addicted to chaos and drama because im stupid enough to think i can fix everything. Because I can’t fix myself 😂

Yeah I worked in video game retail for years and kinda lost my love for it. And then a year ago my mobility was too much for work. That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Do you have any good suggestions?
Would appreciate any if you did ☺️
 

Anonymous

Member
Feb 28, 2024
3,769
20,071
113
I do genuinely don’t mean for this to come across blunt or sty so apologies if it does man.

At first I genuinely did genuinely thought you had been apart of the group that had been trolling me before all this on here. Seeing how you were was able to help me see who was regular etc so now I know you aren’t not apart of that other situation - if you get me? This has been going on like 3 months now

I had people who heard the state i was in outside of the app/cc and didn’t care, still went for me whilst I was having a breakdown.

The only thing that’s helped me thought the last few months is just being on the app and trying to get my confidence and happiness back. That’s all I wanted to do until people didn’t like seeing me laughing again. If me going on silly lil lives and having a laugh is helping distract me from how alone I feel then does it actually hurt anyone?
(Apposed to some off the absolute nonsense that’s gone on with creators in lives)
I’m not earning money by pretending I’m ill. I’m just trying to love myself despite the circumstances I’m under and trying to speak confidently about my conditions. If people find I’m trauma dumpy that’s ok they don’t have to follow me you know?

My family are now well aware of the trolling as well as other things as of the weekend. They’re aware of the suicidal thoughts and aware that I’m self harming again but I don’t think it’s fair to judge or push anyone into getting help or how they see things that are helping them.
Things are being done but this doesn’t help. I’m not saying I’m innocent or perfect I’m certainly far from. I don’t always make the best decisions but literally some of the stuff in here has been absolutely horrible for me and no one should have to post medical stuff I feel so humiliated

I’m happy to show people I think are safe how the extent of how things have been if they are still in doubt. But please respect me in that I feel absolutely small and fragile about posting what I have so far and took the advice of others to stop.
So I’m happy to send them on twitter / insta if it makes people feel better tbh I just want no more posted on here because it’s a horrible feeling
Whose been trolling you for months? You sure they still are?

I understand there is joy from being in boxes and socialising but the specific people you have been with that is not what they are about. You associate with them you will be spoken about unfortunately, we have stated this before on threads with individuals who start mixing with angie, tam etc, you are unfortunately in the limelight and after last night etc it won't be for the good. Unfortunately it is out of control what is discussed on these forums, we talk about what is going on in the app, the best solution is seek support from your local MH support groups and associate with more low scale creators or direct yourself to another platform. This platform is known for the drama, the racism, the bullying etc and you either are involved or a watcher at this point.

Even take time to spend time with family and reach out to them. Have a small group of friends and do calls with them off the app. But planting yourself directly in the firing line you will be shot. I can't stand and promise i wont discuss anything you say or do if i think it is wrong as that is the whole premise of my account and i think everyone else will agree. If anyone is part of your ex group, i understand why they are upset with recent events on your part, i don't know if they found out about the tribunal the same time as some of us did, and they have a right to be angry and upset. If anyone has targeted your MH in such a nasty way that is wrong but as humans we have a right to be curious and question things by following our own intutions. Now with the old group I am happy to hear your side but I wont form opinions without hearing theirs as well. It would not be fair.
 
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CharlieSmith

Member
Mar 27, 2024
251
374
63
Uk
I do genuinely don’t mean for this to come across blunt or sty so apologies if it does man.

At first I genuinely did genuinely thought you had been apart of the group that had been trolling me before all this on here. Seeing how you were was able to help me see who was regular etc so now I know you aren’t not apart of that other situation - if you get me? This has been going on like 3 months now

I had people who heard the state i was in outside of the app/cc and didn’t care, still went for me whilst I was having a breakdown.

The only thing that’s helped me thought the last few months is just being on the app and trying to get my confidence and happiness back. That’s all I wanted to do until people didn’t like seeing me laughing again. If me going on silly lil lives and having a laugh is helping distract me from how alone I feel then does it actually hurt anyone?
(Apposed to some off the absolute nonsense that’s gone on with creators in lives)
I’m not earning money by pretending I’m ill. I’m just trying to love myself despite the circumstances I’m under and trying to speak confidently about my conditions. If people find I’m trauma dumpy that’s ok they don’t have to follow me you know?

My family are now well aware of the trolling as well as other things as of the weekend. They’re aware of the suicidal thoughts and aware that I’m self harming again but I don’t think it’s fair to judge or push anyone into getting help or how they see things that are helping them.
Things are being done but this doesn’t help. I’m not saying I’m innocent or perfect I’m certainly far from. I don’t always make the best decisions but literally some of the stuff in here has been absolutely horrible for me and no one should have to post medical stuff I feel so humiliated

I’m happy to show people I think are safe how the extent of how things have been if they are still in doubt. But please respect me in that I feel absolutely small and fragile about posting what I have so far and took the advice of others to stop.
So I’m happy to send them on twitter / insta if it makes people feel better tbh I just want no more posted on here because it’s a horrible feeling
No one is judging or pushing you to get help, you have to realise when you are expressing that you are SHing and expressing such a deep feeling of negative MH people are going to show concern, despite their feelings on you.
So people suggesting all the help they are, even with how we feel about you, is only out of genuine concern for how you say you're feeling, a human reaction to someone seeming to be struggling
 
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Apr 1, 2024
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England
There’s some I still kinda speak to/mutuals with you know and say hello and stuff
The group sort of dissected in the end (started from the Harley days pls don’t judge me on that💀) I honestly can’t remember how many were in there at the start but it was a lot please don’t quote me on the number

You had all sorts of people in there and it just dropped in numbers. Usually because someone was a t. One of the people with #fishwives saying they left the group because of me for example - they were making out they needed a kidney transplant and ended up being a dangerous person so we all just didn’t talk to her again when she left voluntarily
I caused problems but so did everyone else and I apologised to one of them that I was fully out of order with and she apologised to me too.

So many people in there with different ages, different personalities, i didn’t go in screaming and angry at someone because i was triggered and relapsed and it all blew up from there because i didn’t give the energy wanted or expected.

On a real level i think im addicted to chaos and drama because im stupid enough to think i can fix everything. Because I can’t fix myself 😂

Yeah I worked in video game retail for years and kinda lost my love for it. And then a year ago my mobility was too much for work. That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Do you have any good suggestions?
Would appreciate any if you did ☺️
Sounds chaotic.

it depends what games you like, there’s 1000s my best suggestion is to just search the games you like on the search bar, it’ll show you everyone that’s live currently playing that game, pop in watch and say hi and see if you enjoy there vibe / content and check out there profile about section.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Anonymous
Apr 1, 2024
163
192
43
UK
There’s some I still kinda speak to/mutuals with you know and say hello and stuff
The group sort of dissected in the end (started from the Harley days pls don’t judge me on that💀) I honestly can’t remember how many were in there at the start but it was a lot please don’t quote me on the number

You had all sorts of people in there and it just dropped in numbers. Usually because someone was a t. One of the people with #fishwives saying they left the group because of me for example - they were making out they needed a kidney transplant and ended up being a dangerous person so we all just didn’t talk to her again when she left voluntarily
I caused problems but so did everyone else and I apologised to one of them that I was fully out of order with and she apologised to me too.

So many people in there with different ages, different personalities, i didn’t go in screaming and angry at someone because i was triggered and relapsed and it all blew up from there because i didn’t give the energy wanted or expected.

On a real level i think im addicted to chaos and drama because im stupid enough to think i can fix everything. Because I can’t fix myself 😂

Yeah I worked in video game retail for years and kinda lost my love for it. And then a year ago my mobility was too much for work. That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Do you have any good suggestions?
Would appreciate any if you did ☺️
That is where you're faults are.
Drama is extremely unhealthy and unhelpful to your physical health and psyche.
You need to be careful expressing your SH and Suicidal thoughts on the internet because people don't do about with that s.
You need to live in the now.
Not on the internet because this is not your reality. It is doing nothing for you.
Look where you are?
Look what you are doing?
Is this helping you in anyway at all?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Bluehairdontcare
Apr 1, 2024
98
213
33
England
That is where you're faults are.
Drama is extremely unhealthy and unhelpful to your physical health and psyche.
You need to be careful expressing your SH and Suicidal thoughts on the internet because people don't do about with that s.
You need to live in the now.
Not on the internet because this is not your reality. It is doing nothing for you.
Look where you are?
Look what you are doing?
Is this helping you in anyway at all?
,
Harry Potter Lego GIF by TT Games
 
Feb 28, 2024
129
101
43
Whose been trolling you for months? You sure they still are?

I understand there is joy from being in boxes and socialising but the specific people you have been with that is not what they are about. You associate with them you will be spoken about unfortunately, we have stated this before on threads with individuals who start mixing with angie, tam etc, you are unfortunately in the limelight and after last night etc it won't be for the good. Unfortunately it is out of control what is discussed on these forums, we talk about what is going on in the app, the best solution is seek support from your local MH support groups and associate with more low scale creators or direct yourself to another platform. This platform is known for the drama, the racism, the bullying etc and you either are involved or a watcher at this point.

Even take time to spend time with family and reach out to them. Have a small group of friends and do calls with them off the app. But planting yourself directly in the firing line you will be shot. I can't stand and promise i wont discuss anything you say or do if i think it is wrong as that is the whole premise of my account and i think everyone else will agree. If anyone is part of your ex group, i understand why they are upset with recent events on your part, i don't know if they found out about the tribunal the same time as some of us did, and they have a right to be angry and upset. If anyone has targeted your MH in such a nasty way that is wrong but as humans we have a right to be curious and question things by following our own intutions. Now with the old group I am happy to hear your side but I wont form opinions without hearing theirs as well. It would not be fair.

Old friends from the app, and not all of them but some of them. Certain of it tbh.

I understand that completely and genuinely if I say something that doesn’t sit right with you then absolutely call me out on it! I do it enough to others 🤷🏼‍♀️ but the best I can do is tell you why I feel that way or discuss it further. I’m human and we all do up. If apologies are needed I absolutely will because it’s never in my heart to intentionally hurt anyone who hasn’t done anything to me/doesn’t deserve it.

I don’t really have much of a family for that - but I have been pushing my friends away and that’s something I need to work on most definitely ☺
Always said that tribunal is just what it is. Went for 3 years of representing myself and my witnesses who had their own stories also got heard. In the end I couldn’t take it further for my own wellbeing and I haven’t even really moved on I’m still wishing I did better. It was a lot on me.

I have no issue with people genuinely being curious and wondering but out right making someone feel so uncomfortable and little isn’t a way to do it (not aimed at you here) telling someone they know better than professionals is wrong imo 🫥 I’d never do that. It’s the nastiness that’s not needed.
Trust me I know I can be a little t sometimes, I’m not in denial of that but I do my best you know 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m not a nasty person down to my core.
Never meant to get involved as much as I did with certain things, but despite the fact I was hurt at the name calling and the pointing fingers I still saw a group of good people hurting and they did not deserve that. They have the proof because of me and I was so sick of what was going on I risked it to go in on my main account to 5.1K people to hear the truth on that live I don’t regret it. It was the right thing to do. Could have walked away and said “karmas a b” they essentially just did the same to me. But for my own safety now im out, but I know there is some very good people on here that will continue to do good
 
  • Haha
Reactions: CharlieSmith
Feb 28, 2024
129
101
43
Sounds chaotic.

it depends what games you like, there’s 1000s my best suggestion is to just search the games you like on the search bar, it’ll show you everyone that’s live currently playing that game, pop in watch and say hi and see if you enjoy there vibe / content and check out there profile about section.
Listeeeeen 😭 chaotic is an understatement.

That’s perfect! I started the fallout tv series last night and it’s in my top 3 games. Everyone on twitter is posting about playing it so at least I’ll be really happy with that spike of popularity.
Thank you for the suggestion, I do appreciate it ☺️
 
Feb 28, 2024
129
101
43
That is where you're faults are.
Drama is extremely unhealthy and unhelpful to your physical health and psyche.
You need to be careful expressing your SH and Suicidal thoughts on the internet because people don't do about with that s.
You need to live in the now.
Not on the internet because this is not your reality. It is doing nothing for you.
Look where you are?
Look what you are doing?
Is this helping you in anyway at all?

Oh trust me I’m not oblivious to it 💀 I’m aware I have a lot of flaws and faults.

I do understand what you’re saying and where you’re coming from but in my position the internet is a crutch. It’s a coping mechanism because I’m unable to live in reality. Chronically ill, chronically online as I say 😭 I’m in agony every day

I’d say both yes and no, things help until they don’t. It was helping me, a lot. Socialising, having a laugh and having fun. Until all of this and until people turned on the app and believed it.
I took some time away from this exact thread because I couldn’t cope, now I’m a tiny bit clearer I am doing my best to clear up things and answer questions. Everyone has told me to walk away but I’m not okay with lies and things being twisted, unfortunately I just can’t let it go

Ps hope you find a sock
 
Apr 1, 2024
163
192
43
UK
Oh trust me I’m not oblivious to it 💀 I’m aware I have a lot of flaws and faults.

I do understand what you’re saying and where you’re coming from but in my position the internet is a crutch. It’s a coping mechanism because I’m unable to live in reality. Chronically ill, chronically online as I say 😭 I’m in agony every day

I’d say both yes and no, things help until they don’t. It was helping me, a lot. Socialising, having a laugh and having fun. Until all of this and until people turned on the app and believed it.
I took some time away from this exact thread because I couldn’t cope, now I’m a tiny bit clearer I am doing my best to clear up things and answer questions. Everyone has told me to walk away but I’m not okay with lies and things being twisted, unfortunately I just can’t let it go

Ps hope you find a sock
But it is not now because you are banging on about your mental health a lot.
These people aren't apart of life, they live online a create narratives and drama that impact real people's lives.
How is that helping you?
 

Anonymous

Member
Feb 28, 2024
3,769
20,071
113
Old friends from the app, and not all of them but some of them. Certain of it tbh.

I understand that completely and genuinely if I say something that doesn’t sit right with you then absolutely call me out on it! I do it enough to others 🤷🏼‍♀️ but the best I can do is tell you why I feel that way or discuss it further. I’m human and we all do up. If apologies are needed I absolutely will because it’s never in my heart to intentionally hurt anyone who hasn’t done anything to me/doesn’t deserve it.

I don’t really have much of a family for that - but I have been pushing my friends away and that’s something I need to work on most definitely ☺
Always said that tribunal is just what it is. Went for 3 years of representing myself and my witnesses who had their own stories also got heard. In the end I couldn’t take it further for my own wellbeing and I haven’t even really moved on I’m still wishing I did better. It was a lot on me.

I have no issue with people genuinely being curious and wondering but out right making someone feel so uncomfortable and little isn’t a way to do it (not aimed at you here) telling someone they know better than professionals is wrong imo 🫥 I’d never do that. It’s the nastiness that’s not needed.
Trust me I know I can be a little t sometimes, I’m not in denial of that but I do my best you know 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m not a nasty person down to my core.
Never meant to get involved as much as I did with certain things, but despite the fact I was hurt at the name calling and the pointing fingers I still saw a group of good people hurting and they did not deserve that. They have the proof because of me and I was so sick of what was going on I risked it to go in on my main account to 5.1K people to hear the truth on that live I don’t regret it. It was the right thing to do. Could have walked away and said “karmas a b” they essentially just did the same to me. But for my own safety now im out, but I know there is some very good people on here that will continue to do good
I think the hard thing is now apologies are too late now. This should have been done weeks and days ago when it first kicked off, think there is too much damage on the platforms about everything. If anyone from the old group is reading i am more than happy to hear because i think a lot of us on the outside are confused and missing a bit.

Unfortunately with the internet no one is an actual friend. it is people who we don't actually know. Completely up to you where you go from this, but you have to realise I think alot of people are more on the negative outlook of you than positive, especially with every action there has been either an excuse or a justification linked with your MH. Never once held your hands up and said : i did it because i am a dick. We all make mistakes but when you repeat those mistakes and the pattern repeats it gets repetitive.