Skip over if you're not interested in adhd
I found out my son had it in July last year - he was 17 and had struggled throughout school etc.
Then because it tends to run in families, i got hyperfocussed on symptoms in women. All the lightbulbs exoloded at once. I went for diagnosis because i wanted to try meds.
By the time it came to my psych appointment i knew 100% i had it. The diagnosis just gave me that validation, i spent a lot of time reframing my past and digging up things that I'd hidden away from shame or embarrassment. I also think my mother is on the autistic spectrum somewhere and that explains why I've never understood her and why i always thought she was weird (i know better now).
I'm not medicated either - made me feel worse but I've got an intense well paid job, family, run a home and help my parents - sometimes i think I'm going to lose my mind
I need time to decompress and process things, I've got a small circle of friends because i can't cope with the demands like remembering birthdays etc. I just felt like i let everyone down all the time.
My husband struggles with me and my son. He doesn't understand us and how literally EVERYTHING can be attributed to adhd. He gets so frustrated.
I get it, but i also know we can't help the things that infuriate him and there's no malice behind our forgetfulness, disorganisation, untidiness etc etc etc.
I think we're getting there slowly - i make a massive effort to keep the main bits of the house tidy, i have a million alarms set on my phone so i don't forget stuff, Alexa's constantly shouting at me to remember things
I think it's a huge effort on both sides - adhd to try hard and manage the bits that piss others off and the neurotypical to try and understand and be patient.
I've learned everything i know off Instagram - the NHS support was s. There's a couple on there who are really helpful - adhd_love she has adhd and he doesn't... Lifeactuator is good and so is adhdchatter. Also, podcasts are brilliant - adhdaf (adhd as females) is great - really helpful. If you follow loads of adhd Instagram accounts it might help to reframe our annoying behaviours
Lou is (to me) an exceptionally severe case (with a sload of other stuff thrown in) but i also think she's a devious snivelling arsehole who's almost beyond help .
Sorry for loooong post! Hope it helps xx
and acknowledge that it must be just as frustrating for him, if not more so x
