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TillyLou

Member
Mar 9, 2024
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Trollsville Village in Trollerton
Hi Twinnie,

Sorry that I've been off again. When my brain gets too full of negative emotions...it all becomes too much to absorb and I retreat within myself. Not a healthy trait! Everytime I went to come back on...I just cudnt do it. Can't really explain it. I have kept thinking about u especially tho...
Just can't get out of this s mindset/hole I'm in. 😞

You are right about him. Reflecting on the last 2 years has made me concerned what I've been exposed to. Deep down I do believe trauma bonding has bee at play, for me personally though. ..
However what he's said and done and told me, I think I'm right to get away from him and stay away. He's definitely not right in the head..and mixed with narcissism and misogyny..no boundaries and the reactions he has had..he's not safe to be around or to put myself at risk..at his mercy.

You are probably thinking correctly about what you thought. If I was speaking to another person with the same situation/experience... I would say no logical thought goes into certain 'decisions' and it's a means to escape deep pain. However reflecting on it and being hard on myself as I am ..I do carry shame and guilt.

I haven't spoken to my sister in a few weeks. Last I heard she was gonna find out what was happening with one of the foster kids and she was going to speak to her husband that week. Hadn't heard from her. Its hurt a bit as she knows how s I've been feeling over him and other stuff and I thought we were planning something to look forward to in Oct. Something I cud plan for work wise and plan for financially to spread the cost. It's unlikely to be feasible for me now as time has gone on.. 😞

I know she has a life of her own and busy with the Foster kids and im prob being selfish, but I had sent her a message saying..is everything ok? And she left it for over a week before replying... yes just busy with the kids...you? And no mention or explanation about the trip we planned.
I haven't replied back. Hurt and stubbornness I guess which is a bit childish really. I'm also no better as I haven't got back to u either and believe it or not..u are important to me too! ❤️

I had a work night out last night. It's been planned for weeks. I stopped over in the town I work in, so I cud get a train with the others inc my work besties. It's been stressful putting together an outfit with all the bits and I've had good advice and support from them. Mainly cuz I haven't been out out for over 2 years...I'm not happy with how I look at all and thanks to that prick.. I hv no confidence, going out skills and have become a hermit. I rarely drink but I did plan on having some while out.

But when I got ready at the hotel I was so mortified on how I looked I downed a load of raspberry vodka which was nice lol but I felt pissed and ill the whole way on the train and didnt really drink again.

All the work pics are coming through on our WhatsApp group and I look fing awful! Imo anyway!
Anyway...they say drink is a depressive if your mood is that way inclined...i hid it as much as i could as I really didn't want my 2 main friends worrying about me or having to check I'm ok..it's not fair. At one point I slipped away and just cried in a toilet cubicle crying quietly and they came looking for me. I lied and said that I was OK..having a vape.. and was cmg out. One said later... you're a liar you! I know u were upset.. u need to talk to me. The truth us I was out and sat thinking what the do has that man done to me..😢
That I feel so out of touch with the real world...hate myself even more and have no confidence or social awareness anymore.
Different people came up to me at different times of the night saying.. we love you ....... and lots of other nice things I wud blush even writing. I do actually believe them cuz other than having a fed up personal life...I know I'm a good person and I care for others and am always there when ppl need me and always will be. I don't lie and I am very honest so there's no bs with me which they appreciate. I also know how good I am at my job and my bosses know this and my 'clients' openly praise me and what I do for them. I just realised that ive just written positive things about myself!! 🙆‍♀️
None of the good things i do for people will ever change though. I do think I prob 'give too much' sometimes. I'm gonna be honest..it's nice to get some validation sometimes. Im sure everyone appreciates that if they are honest. Some of us just need boosting more than others I guess.

Thinking about it...maybe last night was just a start point for me. First night out for over 2 years and maybe it will get easier and I will get more confident....

My daughter is back from holiday later today. She's been gone for 10 days again and although she is a little witch to me most of the time...I've missed her and worried about her and just got lonely. 🎻 🎻 🎻 🎻 sorry!

So basically...I'm a 48 year old menopausal woman who's life is a trainwreck and has Anxiety and depression, no confidence and overthink every bloody thing! 🎻🎻🎻🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

The kid's dad has been over seeing to the furkids last night and this morning which is weird in itself tbh. I'm glad I'd taken everything related to my recent ex down...would have been awkward!
Nothing is out or up that is anything to do with my recent ex now....pictures..everything..all put away..even my mug he got me! ( Still need to get all my stuff from his...I wanted to ask my sister but...she's obv been buy so I didnt want to ask!

I got home about 10am. Just feel crap..tired..hung over and embarrassed about how I look in the pictures from last night. Doesn't help standing next to young skinny girls tho! I also wore something out of my comfort zone which was probably stupid and didn't help!

Long long long rambling message...sorry twinnie ❤️ xxx
Hey lovely, just wanted to pop over and send my love to you xxx
 
Mar 8, 2024
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Hey twinnie ❤️

How are you doing ? Hope you're ok and doing a bit better.
I know what you mean about retreating when you have negative thoughts, I tend to do the same so I do understand. I took a week away, had a little speed read through now and then but A was just unbearable with her grief theiving, it was raising my blood pressure! And the fy mum 😡😡
Anyway that's enough on them as this is our special troll page ❤️

I thought so 😞 and I agree it is more about deep pain and it's not something I have ever seen it as a selfish act (like some) it is more a tragic one 💔❤️
I understand that feeling of shame and guilt too. Without going too much into it I get you ❤️

That is a shame if you don't get to go away as you definitely could do with it, and I know you were looking forward to it.
I would need to know for work and could only do it if I spread the costs. I am toying with a little break around October, my first solo trip abroad (wish we could go together! 😁❤️)
But I am also (again) the exact same as you with the texting thing 😳🤣 I am very stubborn so if someone didn't get back to me for a week and gave the same answer your sister did i would probably do the same 🙈 childish some might say😁 but I always think it's kind of rude not to reply for that long especially if you know someone is struggling. I know life gets in the way but even still. Anyway have you got anything sorted at all now ?

I am glad to hear you had a night out but sorry to hear you had such a hard time with being out. That feeling when you don't like what you are wearing is a horrible one and lack of confidence is a killer when its been knocked out of you. That's such a classic narc thing to do isn't it. He wanted you to feel like that, wouldn't want you knowing your worth! The bastard 😡
Makes me sad thinking of you in the toilet upset 😥 your friends sound lovely and know you well by the sounds of it.
I do always go to the toilet to just sit and vape 😁though my mates know that's exactly what I'm doing.
I've been there when you wear something that you don't feel comfortable in (although I'm sure you looked gorgeous) but it can ruin your whole night regardless of how many people tell you otherwise. I have many of times downed vodka shots before going out 😳 how I managed to get out I'll never know 🤣🤣 absolute wasted 😳🙈
Hopefully you will be looking to go out a bit more now and like you say if you do it is likely to get easier.
Also, twinnie I get about not being use to social situations anymore. I use to be such a social person, always out, always doing things with friends but had a illness that stopped me in my tracks and now I shut myself away, I get nervous in any social situation now. I have never ever been like that and it's so hard isn't it. The more I shut myself away the more I want to stay there.
Anyway I am glad you listed those positive things about yourself because I can tell they are all true and many more on top of that ! You are a fantastic mother and what you do for your fur babies ❤️ Let's be real anyone who cares for animals like you is a different kind of special ❤️

I am glad you have taken down everything of his now. Hopefully you will get your stuff back soon and that will spell the end of him for good.

Hope your daughter had a good time away and is being nice 🙂 my boy goes away with his dad next week which I use to dread, but now use the time to get jobs done. I am dreading next year though when he turns 18 and wants to go away with the lads 😳😞 me and my friend was saying it was so much easier when they were little, less to worry about.

Are you doing anything nice this weekend? I am just sitting watching the football 😊

Also you are important to me too ❤️ I do think of you regularly. Hopefully you will be back soon as the whole group miss you @noseyneighbour ❤️ xxxx
Hi Twinnie. Thanks for your lovely reply. I appreciate you. ❤️
I've actually been on AL this week but apart from a few jobs, I have slobbed about, going down you tube rabbit holed. Just watching distraction crap.
I think it's what I needed. So tired doing nothing though. Been eating crap and I feel sluggish as a result.
I actually tried a starter yoga session though after remembering what missy said.
I've had a fairly calm and pleasant week with my daughter. No real drama.
I had a voice message from HIM on WhatsApp that he had deleted before I saw it...this is a habit of his and he probably did it so I would question him on it.. I didn't. He still doesn't realise I see thru his bullshit!
My sister has said she will come with me to get my stuff but we haven't sorted date yet. Then I will hv to message/email him...🙄
I did draft a email saying that i wud not be coming alone and that I know exactly what is there in case he thinks he is going to hide or nick stuff which I know he will do..
My sister said that her husband will only agree to a long weekend so that's those plans out the window!😞
If only me and you could do it eh...go away on a girls holiday together!
When kids go away for the first time it's such a worry for us mums.(and dads)
It doesn't get any easier unfortunately I'm afraid. I track my daughter's flight on flight radar and watch her take off and land and dip on and off to see where she is. It just makes me feel better...
The situation in the UK is fing crazy! It's awful they have used such a tragic event to fuel this behaviour. I feel so sorry for those police officers etc being attacked too. It's all wrong! I get some of the frustrations but the people involved are probably the ones affected by the issue either.
How they think assaults, riots, attacking mosques and hotels will fix anything is beyond reason or normal behaviour.

Hope you are having a nice weekend. The sun is out which is nice.

Love to you twinnie. ❤️ xxx
 
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Hi Twinnie. Thanks for your lovely reply. I appreciate you. ❤️
I've actually been on AL this week but apart from a few jobs, I have slobbed about, going down you tube rabbit holed. Just watching distraction crap.
I think it's what I needed. So tired doing nothing though. Been eating crap and I feel sluggish as a result.
I actually tried a starter yoga session though after remembering what missy said.
I've had a fairly calm and pleasant week with my daughter. No real drama.
I had a voice message from HIM on WhatsApp that he had deleted before I saw it...this is a habit of his and he probably did it so I would question him on it.. I didn't. He still doesn't realise I see thru his bullshit!
My sister has said she will come with me to get my stuff but we haven't sorted date yet. Then I will hv to message/email him...🙄
I did draft a email saying that i wud not be coming alone and that I know exactly what is there in case he thinks he is going to hide or nick stuff which I know he will do..
My sister said that her husband will only agree to a long weekend so that's those plans out the window!😞
If only me and you could do it eh...go away on a girls holiday together!
When kids go away for the first time it's such a worry for us mums.(and dads)
It doesn't get any easier unfortunately I'm afraid. I track my daughter's flight on flight radar and watch her take off and land and dip on and off to see where she is. It just makes me feel better...
The situation in the UK is fing crazy! It's awful they have used such a tragic event to fuel this behaviour. I feel so sorry for those police officers etc being attacked too. It's all wrong! I get some of the frustrations but the people involved are probably the ones affected by the issue either.
How they think assaults, riots, attacking mosques and hotels will fix anything is beyond reason or normal behaviour.

Hope you are having a nice weekend. The sun is out which is nice.

Love to you twinnie. ❤️ xxx

Hey twinnie ❤️

I hope you are ok, which I know is silly to say as I know that freak would have got to you (I'd be the same!) but remember (and I'd say this to myself if she comes for me) she has 12 people following her (probably all her own accounts!)and no one is actually taking any notice of what it says. She's a fruit and a pretty sad one at that. Remember we are all waiting for nhs bosses to send us our p45s. I know it probably doesn't matter what I say as you will worrying, but there is no way she knows who you are and never will. I've no idea why she has come for you, because you have not even been on here lately and don't say anything that others do not say (and then some!) including myself!

Please try not to let her get to you. You are a wonderful human and she clearly isn't.
Love you ❤️❤️ xxx
 
Mar 8, 2024
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Hey twinnie ❤️

I hope you are ok, which I know is silly to say as I know that freak would have got to you (I'd be the same!) but remember (and I'd say this to myself if she comes for me) she has 12 people following her (probably all her own accounts!)and no one is actually taking any notice of what it says. She's a fruit and a pretty sad one at that. Remember we are all waiting for nhs bosses to send us our p45s. I know it probably doesn't matter what I say as you will worrying, but there is no way she knows who you are and never will. I've no idea why she has come for you, because you have not even been on here lately and don't say anything that others do not say (and then some!) including myself!

Please try not to let her get to you. You are a wonderful human and she clearly isn't.
Love you ❤️❤️ xxx
 
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It's the fact they are seeking out my daughter with details they believe to be accurate..deliberately taking stuff if this thread.
I don't think i can do this anymore twinnie...honestly. xx
 
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It's the fact they are seeking out my daughter with details they believe to be accurate..deliberately taking stuff if this thread.
I don't think i can do this anymore twinnie...honestly. xx
I know 😥 I wish I could give you my number but I know that's not possible.
Who ever they are, are sick in the head. I would be fuming too and I know we put it on here but I really didn't expect someone to use such personal stuff, it's not like we are t creators like you say. Perhaps I'm too naive but I wouldn't never use that kind of stuff against a stranger who's only guilty of not liking someone who puts themselves out there day in day out.
Anyway sending you a big hug as I can tell how upset you are 🫂 ❤️
 
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It's the fact they are seeking out my daughter with details they believe to be accurate..deliberately taking stuff if this thread.
I don't think i can do this anymore twinnie...honestly. xx
I know 😥 I wish I could give you my number but I know that's not possible.
Who ever they are, are sick in the head. I would be fuming too and I know we put it on here but I really didn't expect someone to use such personal stuff, it's not like we are t creators like you say. Perhaps I'm too naive but I wouldn't never use that kind of stuff against a stranger who's only guilty of not liking someone who puts themselves out there day in day out.
Anyway sending you a big hug as I can tell how upset you are 🫂 ❤️
I'm really upset tbh. It's been made worse from my post on other thread. My fault for continuing it too I guess. Just trying to ssy why I feel like I do. It's not about anyone else.
I wish I cud contact u off here too as I'm prob going to 'announce my departure'
If I can't talk freely..which I/we obviously can't without it being taken off here and risking our families and then more or less told it's ur own fault, I don't want to be a part of it anymore. I also don't like double standards
 
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It's the fact they are seeking out my daughter with details they believe to be accurate..deliberately taking stuff if this thread.
I don't think i can do this anymore twinnie...honestly. xx

I'm really upset tbh. It's been made worse from my post on other thread. My fault for continuing it too I guess. Just trying to ssy why I feel like I do. It's not about anyone else.
I wish I cud contact u off here too as I'm prob going to 'announce my departure'
If I can't talk freely..which I/we obviously can't without it being taken off here and risking our families and then more or less told it's ur own fault, I don't want to be a part of it anymore. I also don't like double standards
Can you just keep your account open ?
I'm trying to rack my tiny brain on how I can give you a number, burner phone maybe (not that I have one 😕 ) or even my house account on insta. Let me think. I can just tell you are upset by it all and I understand why. I do truly believe that that freak's account is never likely to reach your daughter but I still understand how it's made you feel.
Xxxx
 
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Can you just keep your account open ?
I'm trying to rack my tiny brain on how I can give you a number, burner phone maybe (not that I have one 😕 ) or even my house account on insta. Let me think. I can just tell you are upset by it all and I understand why. I do truly believe that that freak's account is never likely to reach your daughter but I still understand how it's made you feel.
Xxxx
Thank you for understanding twinnie. I know it's my own fault. If it was u... or anyone else tbh I wud be upset and angry for you too...honestly. We all think things sometimes but don't say them for other's feelings. I do get triggered by lack of empathy and unfairness but I guess that's a me issue. I know how I would behave. I don't think I am behaving that well tonight tbh and I wud hate to upset anyone really but I feel my feelings and opinions shud matter too.
I know one thing for sure..I do not want to lose touch with you in particular. Love you! ❤️xx
 
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Can you just keep your account open ?
I'm trying to rack my tiny brain on how I can give you a number, burner phone maybe (not that I have one 😕 ) or even my house account on insta. Let me think. I can just tell you are upset by it all and I understand why. I do truly believe that that freak's account is never likely to reach your daughter but I still understand how it's made you feel.
Xxxx
Hi I was just reading your comment (hope you don’t think I’m being intrusive) but I had a thought that you could make a tt account like a burner tt account and then tell noseyneighbour to add you on tt. You could then private message them on tt and give them your phone number X
 
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Hi I was just reading your comment (hope you don’t think I’m being intrusive) but I had a thought that you could make a tt account like a burner tt account and then tell noseyneighbour to add you on tt. You could then private message them on tt and give them your phone number X
Twinnie I am just off to a meeting but I will reply when I'm home and hopefully you will still be here. Love you ❤️ xxx
 

TillyLou

Member
Mar 9, 2024
755
6,248
93
Trollsville Village in Trollerton
Thank you for understanding twinnie. I know it's my own fault. If it was u... or anyone else tbh I wud be upset and angry for you too...honestly. We all think things sometimes but don't say them for other's feelings. I do get triggered by lack of empathy and unfairness but I guess that's a me issue. I know how I would behave. I don't think I am behaving that well tonight tbh and I wud hate to upset anyone really but I feel my feelings and opinions shud matter too.
I know one thing for sure..I do not want to lose touch with you in particular. Love you! ❤️xx
Hey lovely, just wanted to pop over here and send my love to you. I understand your feelings completely. But please don’t leave. At least just stay in this group for us to have a chat with you? Xx
 
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Hey lovely, just wanted to pop over here and send my love to you. I understand your feelings completely. But please don’t leave. At least just stay in this group for us to have a chat with you? Xx
Thank you. I appreciate that ❤️
I don't feel any better, worse tbh, reading some of the comments/responses. I feel it is clear what thoughts and opinions a few have. That's ok, of course.. They are allowed but it's feeling a bit weighty this side.
I think it's gone a bit too far for me to stay on there.. it feels uncomfortable now. Feels quite one sided which is fine if that is the case but that isn't fine for me to stay. People are continuing it despite saying move on. It's a case of too many cooks/chiefs spoil the broth sometimes.
It isn't going to be the same on this thread either, knowing we can’t be honest about outside troubles etc. I know I am an over sharer and a lot of this is my fault but I am not alone in doing this but I think I/we have got the message now!! I am stopping myself commenting as it's getting to me. The whole reason I've been off is cuz if outside s and I come back to that on my first post back I've reflected on it all, openly, acknowledged it, apologised numerous times, so its a case of take it or leave it now...not that it's relevant anymore which is sad as i genuinely like a lot on there and find them funny too.

Sorry, rambled on. Thanks again xx
 
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@Nosy neighbour
Hey twinnie ❤️ what a day to have an all day bloody meeting ! 😞
Anyway you have been in my thoughts as i know how upset you are. I am not going to put to much on you to stay (all though I am 🙈) as you've got to do what is best for you. How about stay and just read and interact with those you want to and when you want. Or even just on here. I know that will be difficult as I guess we need to be careful as anyone can read it but I'd like to be here for you if you need an ear anyway. You are too liked here and will be missed if you go completely 😭
Anyway see how you feel also that account has completely gone now (I took her out 😳ok I wished I did!)
Love ya twinnie ❤️ xxx
 
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@Nosy neighbour
Hey twinnie ❤️ what a day to have an all day bloody meeting ! 😞
Anyway you have been in my thoughts as i know how upset you are. I am not going to put to much on you to stay (all though I am 🙈) as you've got to do what is best for you. How about stay and just read and interact with those you want to and when you want. Or even just on here. I know that will be difficult as I guess we need to be careful as anyone can read it but I'd like to be here for you if you need an ear anyway. You are too liked here and will be missed if you go completely 😭
Anyway see how you feel also that account has completely gone now (I took her out 😳ok I wished I did!)
Love ya twinnie ❤️ xxx
Don't you just love meetings...
Thanks for thinking of me. I have been working but prob been on my phone too much today. I went to sleep at 06:30 so had less than 2 hours sleep so admittedly grumpy.
Rosie just put into the perfect words on what my thoughts are/were. ❤️

See now that I'm feeling insecure, triggered and sty, so I don't feel liked... God am i at school again! 🤦‍♀️

I know I don't have to be liked by all anyway but these events don't disappear from mine or anyone else's minds easily. I feel hurt by some of the initial responses to my post and I don't feel it was necessary at that moment in time. Not everyone even knew which TT post I was referring to (prob my fault for not SS that too) so to minimise my feelings and fears by saying everyone has been targeted..or can't see what the issue was etc or tell me I shouldn't have posted personal stuff etc etc felt unkind. But I'm the baddie for equally having my say??
We've ALL been there for each other and had backs etc etc...that didn't feel like my reality last night. When u feel s and say u feel s...thats when u see the reality of your worth to some. It feels unbalanced and unfair (child again..🤦‍♀️ but this is where it all stems from..but apparently all made up...) but yet others are suddenly the victims and did nothing wrong and I am the one "bang out of order"?! do staying around for that when I had already apologised. Deflection much?
No one is here to be patronised or belittled or told off by no one. I once repeated a word I shudnt have. I was mortified..apologised and moved on. Some others aren't so gracious and I'm not here for that..sorry...no one is.

The other posts that person posted on TT...obv I wasn't happy about..we all know the one I was upset about and why. If somebody can't have empathy and understanding for that and instead just be insensitive or passive aggressive they arent for me.
Prob going to get in trouble again for my thoughts and words. No one has to agree or like other's post's..remember.....owe me the same courtesy...

Thanks twinnie, love ya too❤️ xx
 
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Don't you just love meetings...
Thanks for thinking of me. I have been working but prob been on my phone too much today. I went to sleep at 06:30 so had less than 2 hours sleep so admittedly grumpy.
Rosie just put into the perfect words on what my thoughts are/were. ❤️

See now that I'm feeling insecure, triggered and sty, so I don't feel liked... God am i at school again! 🤦‍♀️

I know I don't have to be liked by all anyway but these events don't disappear from mine or anyone else's minds easily. I feel hurt by some of the initial responses to my post and I don't feel it was necessary at that moment in time. Not everyone even knew which TT post I was referring to (prob my fault for not SS that too) so to minimise my feelings and fears by saying everyone has been targeted..or can't see what the issue was etc or tell me I shouldn't have posted personal stuff etc etc felt unkind. But I'm the baddie for equally having my say??
We've ALL been there for each other and had backs etc etc...that didn't feel like my reality last night. When u feel s and say u feel s...thats when u see the reality of your worth to some. It feels unbalanced and unfair (child again..🤦‍♀️ but this is where it all stems from..but apparently all made up...) but yet others are suddenly the victims and did nothing wrong and I am the one "bang out of order"?! do staying around for that when I had already apologised. Deflection much?
No one is here to be patronised or belittled or told off by no one. I once repeated a word I shudnt have. I was mortified..apologised and moved on. Some others aren't so gracious and I'm not here for that..sorry...no one is.

The other posts that person posted on TT...obv I wasn't happy about..we all know the one I was upset about and why. If somebody can't have empathy and understanding for that and instead just be insensitive or passive aggressive they arent for me.
Prob going to get in trouble again for my thoughts and words. No one has to agree or like other's post's..remember.....owe me the same courtesy...

Thanks twinnie, love ya too❤️ xx
Yeah and on the hottest day of the year with no air con! 😳😳 Anyway back home now but my fur baby has obviously got a dodgy stomach so diarrhea all in my son's (carpeted) bedroom greeted me 🤮🤮
I can imagine how hard it was to work today returning from leave without this going on in your head. I know to some it's water off a ducks back but that's not us. I completely get that and some might say why get offended by strangers but i think we see the group as friends. I always try not to offend anyone on here the same as you and I would hate to upset anyone. But that said I would definitely have reacted the same as you last night. Lovely Rosie summed it up beautifully and I'm so glad you saw her post.
I saw those TT post a while back and I was fuming for you. I didn't want to mention it to you as I knew it would upset you, but I also didn't want to drive anyone there looking if that makes sense? I feel their posts were far more targeted at you for some reason and yes people can say the info is there but I can't see why you were so targeted. In actual fact I thought that's why you may have taken time off but again I didn't want to say on here or ss anything as that may have drove more traffic to the freaks page.
I hope you felt supported by me last night, I don't always say a lot in posts (I struggle to articulate also) but I do in other ways, and I felt for you as I knew today there were other posts that would bring upset to you. I know what it's like to be an over thinker and how that affects you so I get it 100% 😞 I just hope you looked for all the posts saying don't leave and how liked you are. Anyway I best get some tea on for the boy but I will be back 😊
Also, don't tell her but I've just busied my bf when she just tried calling me as I was like I need to get this off to nosey 😁❤️
Xxxx
 
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@Nosy neighbour
Hey twinnie ❤️ what a day to have an all day bloody meeting ! 😞
Anyway you have been in my thoughts as i know how upset you are. I am not going to put to much on you to stay (all though I am 🙈) as you've got to do what is best for you. How about stay and just read and interact with those you want to and when you want. Or even just on here. I know that will be difficult as I guess we need to be careful as anyone can read it but I'd like to be here for you if you need an ear anyway. You are too liked here and will be missed if you go completely 😭
Anyway see how you feel also that account has completely gone now (I took her out 😳ok I wished I did!)
Love ya twinnie ❤️ xxx
Don't you just love meetings...
Thanks for thinking of me. I have been working but prob been on my phone too much today. I went to sleep at 06:30 so had less than 2 hours sleep so admittedly grumpy.
Rosie just put into the perfect words on what my thoughts are/were. ❤️

See now that I'm feeling insecure, triggered and sty, so I don't feel liked... God am i at school again! 🤦‍♀️

I know I don't have to be liked by all anyway but these events don't disappear from mine or anyone else's minds easily. I feel hurt by some of the initial responses to my post and I don't feel it was necessary at that moment in time. Not everyone even knew which TT post I was referring to (prob my fault for not SS that too) so to minimise my feelings and fears by saying everyone has been targeted..or can't see what the issue was etc or tell me I shouldn't have posted personal stuff etc etc felt unkind. But I'm the baddie for equally having my say??
We've ALL been there for each other and had backs etc etc...that didn't feel like my reality last night. When u feel s and say u feel s...thats when u see the reality of your worth to some. It feels unbalanced and unfair (child again..🤦‍♀️ but this is where it all stems from..but apparently all made up...) but yet others are suddenly the victims and did nothing wrong and I am the one "bang out of order"?! do staying around for that when I had already apologised. Deflection much?
No one is here to be patronised or belittled or told off by no one. I once repeated a word I shudnt have. I was mortified..apologised and moved on. Some others aren't so gracious and I'm not here for that..sorry...no one is.

The other posts that person posted on TT...obv I wasn't happy about..we all know the one I was upset about and why. If somebody can't have empathy and understanding for that and instead just be insensitive or passive aggressive they arent for me.
Prob going to get in trouble again for my thoughts and words. No one has to agree or like other's post's..remember.....owe me the same courtesy...

Thanks twinnie, love ya too❤️ xx
Yeah and on the hottest day of the year with no air con! 😳😳 Anyway back home now but my fur baby has obviously got a dodgy stomach so diarrhea all in my son's (carpeted) bedroom greeted me 🤮🤮
I can imagine how hard it was to work today returning from leave without this going on in your head. I know to some it's water off a ducks back but that's not us. I completely get that and some might say why get offended by strangers but i think we see the group as friends. I always try not to offend anyone on here the same as you and I would hate to upset anyone. But that said I would definitely have reacted the same as you last night. Lovely Rosie summed it up beautifully and I'm so glad you saw her post.
I saw those TT post a while back and I was fuming for you. I didn't want to mention it to you as I knew it would upset you, but I also didn't want to drive anyone there looking if that makes sense? I feel their posts were far more targeted at you for some reason and yes people can say the info is there but I can't see why you were so targeted. In actual fact I thought that's why you may have taken time off but again I didn't want to say on here or ss anything as that may have drove more traffic to the freaks page.
I hope you felt supported by me last night, I don't always say a lot in posts (I struggle to articulate also) but I do in other ways, and I felt for you as I knew today there were other posts that would bring upset to you. I know what it's like to be an over thinker and how that affects you so I get it 100% 😞 I just hope you looked for all the posts saying don't leave and how liked you are. Anyway I best get some tea on for the boy but I will be back 😊
Also, don't tell her but I've just busied my bf when she just tried calling me as I was like I need to get this off to nosey 😁❤️
Xxxx
Omg...I can imagine what that was like coming home to 🤢 feel bad for you as I know what a grim task it is. Not their fault but in your head..u are like could u have done it in a hard floored room. Bless him. Hope he's OK and drinking plenty. 🙏❤️

I think you and me and a few others are on the same wavelength. It's why we relate so much to past and present struggles and upset. It feels good being around like-minded people who get it.
I think you are right about seeing everyone as friends. Some may mock or reject that notion or feeling, but we feel what we feel. Some of us have deeper connections than others or not as deep as we think in some cases.
You always have my back and are there for me. You go over and above with support..understanding and empathy. Your kindness and genuiness shines through clearly twinnie ❤️ I don't wsnt to feel a burden...never have. Just messed up in many ways and s going on but I think and hope u and some others see the good in me. I believe you do. xx
Ironic really...I do question myself actually...being on the other thread and partaking...is that a good person?? She just frustrates the hell out of me and triggers me also. Lying, manipulation, control, gaslighting and the lack of acknowledgement in her over herself, her family, relationships and other ppl are unpleasant and unlikeable traits. Are we all wrong?? More and more ppl are seeing it.
I actually didnt even know that username on TT existed until I saw someone on other thread mention it. Horrified as usual at the SS's but when I looked back at the first one about me...i was like wtf have I dkne in particular different to anyone else?!
Not nice for anyone..it's vile but to go out of their way regarding 'facts' about me and my family is another level. So when i felt it was minimised and told everyone has had it, that didn't feel supportive...the opposite.
I hate the way the poster on TT insinuates I, you or anyone has been untruthful about pasts and trauma is awful. Like i wish it was different love..but it isn't! 🙄🤦‍♀️
No where have I wished her to unalive herself or even thought it. Thats the truth so that's so wrong to say otherwise. I haven't personally seen anyone else imply that either.
Menopausal..yes
Train wreck....yes
Overthinker..yes

All that was factually correct but to use it to mock and actually be a bully themselves...ok..

Would love to know what I have done in particular to get those posts. Not saying anyone else would deserve it either but like u acknowledged, unlike others, the posts stood out from the others, particularly the one in question.

Thank you again for always being there. I appreciate it. And it doesn't mean that can't hear truths etc..just a time and a place sometimes!

That made me laugh...sorry twinnies bf 🫣❤️ xxx
 
Mar 8, 2024
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Don't you just love meetings...
Thanks for thinking of me. I have been working but prob been on my phone too much today. I went to sleep at 06:30 so had less than 2 hours sleep so admittedly grumpy.
Rosie just put into the perfect words on what my thoughts are/were. ❤️

See now that I'm feeling insecure, triggered and sty, so I don't feel liked... God am i at school again! 🤦‍♀️

I know I don't have to be liked by all anyway but these events don't disappear from mine or anyone else's minds easily. I feel hurt by some of the initial responses to my post and I don't feel it was necessary at that moment in time. Not everyone even knew which TT post I was referring to (prob my fault for not SS that too) so to minimise my feelings and fears by saying everyone has been targeted..or can't see what the issue was etc or tell me I shouldn't have posted personal stuff etc etc felt unkind. But I'm the baddie for equally having my say??
We've ALL been there for each other and had backs etc etc...that didn't feel like my reality last night. When u feel s and say u feel s...thats when u see the reality of your worth to some. It feels unbalanced and unfair (child again..🤦‍♀️ but this is where it all stems from..but apparently all made up...) but yet others are suddenly the victims and did nothing wrong and I am the one "bang out of order"?! do staying around for that when I had already apologised. Deflection much?
No one is here to be patronised or belittled or told off by no one. I once repeated a word I shudnt have. I was mortified..apologised and moved on. Some others aren't so gracious and I'm not here for that..sorry...no one is.

The other posts that person posted on TT...obv I wasn't happy about..we all know the one I was upset about and why. If somebody can't have empathy and understanding for that and instead just be insensitive or passive aggressive they arent for me.
Prob going to get in trouble again for my thoughts and words. No one has to agree or like other's post's..remember.....owe me the same courtesy...

Thanks twinnie, love ya too❤️ xx

Omg...I can imagine what that was like coming home to 🤢 feel bad for you as I know what a grim task it is. Not their fault but in your head..u are like could u have done it in a hard floored room. Bless him. Hope he's OK and drinking plenty. 🙏❤️

I think you and me and a few others are on the same wavelength. It's why we relate so much to past and present struggles and upset. It feels good being around like-minded people who get it.
I think you are right about seeing everyone as friends. Some may mock or reject that notion or feeling, but we feel what we feel. Some of us have deeper connections than others or not as deep as we think in some cases.
You always have my back and are there for me. You go over and above with support..understanding and empathy. Your kindness and genuiness shines through clearly twinnie ❤️ I don't wsnt to feel a burden...never have. Just messed up in many ways and s going on but I think and hope u and some others see the good in me. I believe you do. xx
Ironic really...I do question myself actually...being on the other thread and partaking...is that a good person?? She just frustrates the hell out of me and triggers me also. Lying, manipulation, control, gaslighting and the lack of acknowledgement in her over herself, her family, relationships and other ppl are unpleasant and unlikeable traits. Are we all wrong?? More and more ppl are seeing it.
I actually didnt even know that username on TT existed until I saw someone on other thread mention it. Horrified as usual at the SS's but when I looked back at the first one about me...i was like wtf have I dkne in particular different to anyone else?!
Not nice for anyone..it's vile but to go out of their way regarding 'facts' about me and my family is another level. So when i felt it was minimised and told everyone has had it, that didn't feel supportive...the opposite.
I hate the way the poster on TT insinuates I, you or anyone has been untruthful about pasts and trauma is awful. Like i wish it was different love..but it isn't! 🙄🤦‍♀️
No where have I wished her to unalive herself or even thought it. Thats the truth so that's so wrong to say otherwise. I haven't personally seen anyone else imply that either.
Menopausal..yes
Train wreck....yes
Overthinker..yes

All that was factually correct but to use it to mock and actually be a bully themselves...ok..

Would love to know what I have done in particular to get those posts. Not saying anyone else would deserve it either but like u acknowledged, unlike others, the posts stood out from the others, particularly the one in question.

Thank you again for always being there. I appreciate it. And it doesn't mean that can't hear truths etc..just a time and a place sometimes!

That made me laugh...sorry twinnies bf 🫣❤️ xxx
Twinnie first things first, you are never a burden...ever ❤️
I'm glad you do feel supported by me as I feel towards you how I do with my friend's and I honestly mean that too.
I feel we are so unlike so I know how you feel and I really do have empathy for it because unless you are that way it's easy to say write it off. I think I've got a little better as I've got older but I also feel it's because I see people much less. I think I've mentioned on here before, how sometimes I've not got back what I've put into friendships and I'd always be upset when others couldn't give 2 ss.
You are a good person and yes I do see it as do others. You are very well liked and with good reason. I have questioned that too about myself with being on that other thread but only because we are good people. Then I've just watched her and her mums TT and it's really angered me and I know exactly why I'm there. There they are on a little trip with H and all they are on about is drink and how they don't have to worry about driving as they are in the centre! Never mind you have a child with you, you absolute wasters! So yes A, her mum and vile vav are a different breed. I see creators I like and some I don't like but I never look for a thread on the ones I don't like because none of them are that vile. So with A she is not nice, she's a narc and more or less touts it.

The fact you didn't know that user was around shows that you are not on here as much as again the mind boggles why you had 3 posts. And I know why anyone but I am on here as much, if not more than you so I don't get it. I can only imagine the rage that one post made you feel. I felt rage when that jiggy (although I think same person) said we had claimed to have bad childhood's....like I wished we were lying 😞 so seeing it aimed at your daughter, I get it totally.

I will always be here for you and i hope you will stay 🙏 (but of course no pressure)

Poor boy seems ok just got and bothered. Going to take him out in a bit but still roasting here.

Haha I haven't spoke to her in a little while she'll be cursing me. Ill call her tomorrow 🙈😁 xxxx 💕 😘