Faceless Friends

noseyneighbour said:

No..stupidly i am still awake. I just feel s over the whole thing.More so for poor Rosie now. It's so uncalled for. Her truth hurt clearly. Just shows some cant follow their own views when it's them on the end of it. You were right about tiredness not helping tho twinnie. Thanks again. Please dont be upset...I know you feel upset for me because u are an empath and a good person. Rosie stood up and voiced her view which she was also allowed to do. I'm just sad she got s for it. I don't want the same for u or anyone else. xx

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Hope you are asleep now. I've just caught up over there I am off to bed now but will come on in the morning and hopefully you would have had a good night's sleep, at least.
Also hoping Rosie stays here for a while too. Night lovely xx

I hope you are feeling a bit better today! I have training all day so may be on later! I still feel i made the right decision. Read the thread there incase someone had messaged me and nope lol just as I thought. Some are definitely valued more and that has been clear a while anywaaaaay....have a great day whatever you're doing

RosieJo said:

I hope you are feeling a bit better today! I have training all day so may be on later! I still feel i made the right decision. Read the thread there incase someone had messaged me and nope lol just as I thought. Some are definitely valued more and that has been clear a while anywaaaaay....have a great day whatever you're doing

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Hope you're training was not too bad.
It's definitely all quiet on that front and even A is having a day off, Wendy too! Probably hung over and still in their jim jams poor H what a holiday for her.
I've been on vav's thread today and I would say her downfall is getting ever closer

@noseyneighbour how are you today ? Hope you managed to sleep xx

Standupifyouhateaimee said:

Hope you're training was not too bad.
It's definitely all quiet on that front and even A is having a day off, Wendy too! Probably hung over and still in their jim jams poor H what a holiday for her.
I've been on vav's thread today and I would say her downfall is getting ever closer

@noseyneighbour how are you today ? Hope you managed to sleep xx

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Just home from training, awk it was grand. Its safety intervention training so basically refreshing how to restrain patients safely. And refreshing on trauma responses and stuff. Tomorrow we shall be wrestling each other on the floor lol tiring is all! I've got a banging headache as didn't sleep properly last night due to all of that going on. Tbh whatever "friendships" (i use the term loosely) I thought I had on there didn't exist in any way including people I've stood up for in the past. If that's who they want in their group then so be it and may it nip them in the ass some day (it will at some stage). Just hope none of them need understanding some day, or anyone to react to them with care on here. I genuinely do worry about some people's lack of compassion and empathy. And their skills of deflecting onto others when challenged. It's actually pretty scary. Aimees holidays already boring as do. All she will do is eat and drink and Harper won't get a look in. It's horrible! How has your day been? I hope nosey is OK aswell

RosieJo said:

Just home from training, awk it was grand. Its safety intervention training so basically refreshing how to restrain patients safely. And refreshing on trauma responses and stuff. Tomorrow we shall be wrestling each other on the floor lol tiring is all! I've got a banging headache as didn't sleep properly last night due to all of that going on. Tbh whatever "friendships" (i use the term loosely) I thought I had on there didn't exist in any way including people I've stood up for in the past. If that's who they want in their group then so be it and may it nip them in the ass some day (it will at some stage). Just hope none of them need understanding some day, or anyone to react to them with care on here. I genuinely do worry about some people's lack of compassion and empathy. And their skills of deflecting onto others when challenged. It's actually pretty scary. Aimees holidays already boring as do. All she will do is eat and drink and Harper won't get a look in. It's horrible! How has your day been? I hope nosey is OK aswell

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That sounds very interesting and much better than the mundane mandatory training days I go to.
Haha the wrestling practice sounds certainly more interesting
Yes I am actually surprised by that as you have always stood up for others, funny enough I was only thinking about that today. It was not nice yesterday so not surprised you didn't sleep well. I know we are all meant to be just posters online but I think it's been different for some of us....perhaps a anonymous troll life is not quite for us
In all seriousness though just sad at how it went as we did all have a laugh but I guess some care more than others.
I was looking back on posts on this thread and definitely all had a lovely connection.
One of my closest friend's is from where I think you are, also a nurse so I always hear her voice when I read your posts
I noticed there were a couple of us I haven't seen active here for a while so might do a wellness check.

Yes Aimee content is very boring and just how she manages to make everything look absolutely s, I have no idea raving about the view, I just saw rooftops and a bit of blue

My day was ok thanks just wondering what to dish up for dinner, I won't film it though I promise

Yes hope nosey is ok.

@WhoMeNotMe and @Muggle haven't seen you both post in a while. Hope you are both ok

Standupifyouhateaimee said:

@WhoMeNotMe and @Muggle haven't seen you both post in a while. Hope you are both ok

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I'm still here just hiding under my bridge until its all normal again. I don't like conflict, reminds me of being married and sets off my anxiety. I am not very good at writing what I want to say, so if I had written anything it would probably have been taken wrong, which is the main reason I rarely text anyone. I do hope Nosey and Rosie don't go, it would be a shame to lose them, feels like they've always been here. Thank you for thinking of me, much appreciated.

@RosieJo and @Standupifyouhateaimee thought i would reply to u both in one for this as no point writing same update twice.
Glad your training was good and worth it. Makes a big difference when u are passionate about something and u feel it will benefit u...and patients.

Are you ok twinnie?

I didn't sleep either...well for short periods and kept sitting up. Also hot and busy head. It was hard getting up this morning and I blame this on not realising until lunchtime I had forgot to put a bloody bra on! Very random not sure why other than not being with it. I came home and asked my daughter...can u tell what's different about me..her reply...ur tits are saggy! Made me laugh tbh and thought...Well at least she notices me.

If I'm honest...which i always am... i have an overwhelming feeling of sadness about the whole thing. I obv had my part to play but other than feeling bad if I upset some, I still feel a lot of that was unnecessary and mean from the offset. Maybe coming from someone more familiar to me and later on in a less blunt fashion...i think i would have took it much better. I've taken advice off here. For a start i left that toxic relationship which a few of you told me I should do. It was the right advice but inside i struggled at times with my feelings but alot put it in perspective for me and I valued that.

I have tried not to go over to the other thread but wud be lying if I said I hadn't. It's partly out of habit and to see A pics and videos (which i no longer can anyway) but also cuz I'm a t and rubbing salt in my wounds.All it's done is made me feel more hurt tbh. I know they are mentioning this thread and ppl talking about the situation but they are also talking about me indirectly and not in a positive way about the situation that occurred.

Clearly everyone believes im just a nutcase and am to blame. I take part blame for my emotive and harsh reactions if thats what they were but I have apologised for that many times including the person in question. I never did see the apology from them but its irrelevant now.

I do believe that some are valued more than others and I know many have said this isn't the case and don't like it being said but it's prob cuz they are included in the 'popular ones' so wudnt see it/affect them directly. There are lots of watchers on there who prob dont want to comment..get that! but it's sad if some are indirectly or directly feel less included. It's like being in the 'it crowd at school' or not.
I actually didn't mean any offence to anyone when i said about not trusting what ppl have said to me if they liked that horrible reply i got (and it was horrid..anyone should have seen that and stood up..apart from Rosie) i was hurt and confused ppl cud or wud like or even love that post. It was vile. One of the ppl I offended..i actually really liked and was more hurt from.

I stand by what i say when no one likes to hear others talking about them..myself included but its goes both ways and it has continued in a detrimental way about me and what happened. I haven't been specific about names really but if u think it's about u.. it is kind of thing. I don't feel there is any guilt or remorse from anyone over there for their words..ones I thought gave a s about me (I'm a deluded t)



What I will say is I did jump on Lurkey and let it all out to her how I felt. Not about her but the poster. I did prob take it out on her and that was wrong and i said sorry and meant it. If you see this Lurkey then that's my genuine thoughts.
Im my head..at the time in particular, I feel you immediately jumped to the defence of the other user and continued that defence and i felt devalued at the time I was replying so my responses prob gave u the hard time which isn’t fair but I feel it wasn't fair playing down how I felt
when at that time u didn't know which TT I was referring to. That other post stood out differently and it shocked me. My irrational head was saying my family will see it and ppl only care about telling me it's my fault.(which I accept is the truth)
I've always supported and looked out for you Lurkey. If someone did or say anything that bothered or upset u..i wud not think of invalidating how u were feeling and jumping to other users defence. I wud prob come on later and comment something which I often did. I never jumped on the person who may hv done it either.....

It's not childish to say how hurt u are by things or to have your say or continue to do so.

None of that crap had happened with me before on there. Does that not count for something. I've never been horrible to anyone or not included them. If I have been..then I'm mortified.

I feel if that poster hadn't have swept in with their original blunt and insensitive reply to my post then none of this wud have happened. I wudnt have been so triggered and worked up. So when Lurkey started replying to me..there was no talking to me...from anyone really. I was calming down a little and had apologised and then that completely unnecessary reply came in and blew me away. Would anyone else liked to have been in the receiving end of that?
Whether I was complicit I'm the whole thing or not...it really has hurt and upset me..deeply. i feel betrayed and now mocked and my situation discussed openly in a derogatory way. Being in the midst of it and it not affecting any of them..they won't see the issue but it fing hurts!
I said before...it was the group I didn't know I needed. 🥹

Also to mock the way myself and twinnie sign off from each other is testament to the mean person they are. Nothing and I mean nothing was caring about that original response to me whether they are deluded or convinced themself and others that it was. Admitted they are blunt and it may have come across blunt and others said as much but that was all forgotten and retracted...how genuine or credible is that user then...

The first part about not giving the TT user the satisfaction of reacting...I got and accepted...the blunt part after was unnecessary at that moment imo.
Actually.. i do believe I mentioned in my original post which post had upset me and why.

End of the day...I accept have shared too much specific detail from my personal life on here and agree that is my fault.
Ive admitted I get anxious, catastrophise, overthink, emotionally react etc...I've been like that from the offset and u hv all seen that. Suddenly I'm the worst person in the world and my apologies, worries, feelings and trust doesn't matter anymore.

Anyway ive said enough but it all comes from the heart. I'm honest and care too much and am ashamed for my part in the saga but I'm not a horrible person! That's not what's keeping me up all night and staying I'm my mind..it's the hurt, disappointment and the fact that so many of them believe I am this bad nutjob.

Sorry for the length... skip all that doesn't apply (prob most lol)

I appreciate u both for checking in on me and i hope u both are OK too and everyone else i may have upset or changed their view on me or got caught up in it..(sorry again to Rosie)

xx

Edit..had no idea it was that long so no doubt im gonna get stick for that too. Writing out is like therapy for me..always has been though so...

@noseyneighbour I’ve refrained from posting on here because I felt you all needed your space to talk and vent amongst yourselves so this will be my one and only post I promise I don’t want to invade or argue or anything of the sort.
I appreciate in the moment you was triggered and I’m sorry my messages didn’t appear to come across in the way that I meant them I was just trying to calm you down and rationalise the situation and diffuse it before it spiralled as I know your emotions were high at the time by the post, by the video and by your life circumstances (I’ve seen you’ve been struggling in the non virtual world) I’d defend any last one of you, I’ve done countless of times against the videos but didn’t want to draw attention to the ones dani made about you because I knew it would upset you and I didn’t want that you didn’t deserve to be upset by someone like that and that’s what they wanted and I wasn’t about to help them with their mission to achieve that. I appreciate every last person who has ever defended me I’m a t of a troll but I promise I’m not cold hearted enough not to acknowledge or appreciate that.
A lot of posters have been so positive and caring towards you, I feel that should acknowledged I feel a lot of people have showed compassion and then been labelled bullies later on. I feel messages can get misunderstood on here and sometimes even I have to take a breath and evaluate things if my head space isn’t the best at the time of reading. The parts that have been posted on here saying things are forgiven too easily ive had adult conversations with people even the original poster who upset you and moved on because in my mind I’m here for the laughs, the jokes and the shared view points and I don’t know anyone beyond here I don’t know anyone’s real names. Ive always been very fond of you nosey, looked for you countless of times when you’ve been quiet, always checked up on you in general and tried to protect you from accounts like Dani, jigsaw and always tried to reassure you when fake lurker said they liked you that I took that as them trying to play us off against each other.
I accepted your apology when it was originally made and I accept it now I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel saddened by being labelled stuff on this thread I’m only human and I think a lot of others feel the same way.
I didn’t react to Rosie leaving as much as I wanted to because I know this situation took over the thread and it isn’t what people are here for. But I don’t want anyone to leave, I don’t want anyone to feel like they cannot post and be on that thread.
I don’t want anyone to feel less important compared to others. We are all here for the same purpose, all have every right to say what we want to say and have a laugh a long the way.
I guess I feel my fondness of you wasnt reciprocated and even in my original post I was trying to help you and acknowledged your feelings throughout in fact your feelings led to a lot of what I was saying I knew they were hurt triggered and spiralling maybe it wasn’t the best timing on my part to try and diffuse that but I interpreted the comment to be advice a little blunt which ownership has been given for that and I just think there needs to be some way forward from this even if you and the member never communicate again.

thelurker66 said:

@noseyneighbour I’ve refrained from posting on here because I felt you all needed your space to talk and vent amongst yourselves so this will be my one and only post I promise I don’t want to invade or argue or anything of the sort.
I appreciate in the moment you was triggered and I’m sorry my messages didn’t appear to come across in the way that I meant them I was just trying to calm you down and rationalise the situation and diffuse it before it spiralled as I know your emotions were high at the time by the post, by the video and by your life circumstances (I’ve seen you’ve been struggling in the non virtual world) I’d defend any last one of you, I’ve done countless of times against the videos but didn’t want to draw attention to the ones dani made about you because I knew it would upset you and I didn’t want that you didn’t deserve to be upset by someone like that and that’s what they wanted and I wasn’t about to help them with their mission to achieve that. I appreciate every last person who has ever defended me I’m a t of a troll but I promise I’m not cold hearted enough not to acknowledge or appreciate that.
A lot of posters have been so positive and caring towards you, I feel that should acknowledged I feel a lot of people have showed compassion and then been labelled bullies later on. I feel messages can get misunderstood on here and sometimes even I have to take a breath and evaluate things if my head space isn’t the best at the time of reading. The parts that have been posted on here saying things are forgiven too easily ive had adult conversations with people even the original poster who upset you and moved on because in my mind I’m here for the laughs, the jokes and the shared view points and I don’t know anyone beyond here I don’t know anyone’s real names. Ive always been very fond of you nosey, looked for you countless of times when you’ve been quiet, always checked up on you in general and tried to protect you from accounts like Dani, jigsaw and always tried to reassure you when fake lurker said they liked you that I took that as them trying to play us off against each other.
I accepted your apology when it was originally made and I accept it now I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel saddened by being labelled stuff on this thread I’m only human and I think a lot of others feel the same way.
I didn’t react to Rosie leaving as much as I wanted to because I know this situation took over the thread and it isn’t what people are here for. But I don’t want anyone to leave, I don’t want anyone to feel like they cannot post and be on that thread.
I don’t want anyone to feel less important compared to others. We are all here for the same purpose, all have every right to say what we want to say and have a laugh a long the way.
I guess I feel my fondness of you wasnt reciprocated and even in my original post I was trying to help you and acknowledged your feelings throughout in fact your feelings led to a lot of what I was saying I knew they were hurt triggered and spiralling maybe it wasn’t the best timing on my part to try and diffuse that but I interpreted the comment to be advice a little blunt which ownership has been given for that and I just think there needs to be some way forward from this even if you and the member never communicate again.

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I 100% felt you were coming from a good place when supporting Nosey. Yes we are there for the same reason but the objective is to chat about Aimee, not become offensive or hurtful to other members, and that member has done this a few times so I think that's where we are kinda thinking, so we really haven't done much apart from me saying it wasn't necessary then coming back at that poster when she came at me. And nosey wasn't being rational same was said at the time and that poster still continued to be "blunt" if that's what we are calling it. But she didn't get any flack for it and will do it again to someone else. But we have left the group. I haven't used the term bully but when someone says they feel bullied then it's what they feel. Maybe I'm to quick to jump to peoples defense when I feel there's an injustice or people are being dicks and tbh because of my profession I could almost feel noseys distress through her messages but that's probably never going to change. I do the same in my real life. I won't walk past someone being hurt here so why would I read it online in a forum I'm part of, to people I chat to regularly and like and allow it. It is what it is now, maybe I'll be back someday but I doubt it. I do hope you are well Lurkey, look after yourself

thelurker66 said:

@noseyneighbour I’ve refrained from posting on here because I felt you all needed your space to talk and vent amongst yourselves so this will be my one and only post I promise I don’t want to invade or argue or anything of the sort.
I appreciate in the moment you was triggered and I’m sorry my messages didn’t appear to come across in the way that I meant them I was just trying to calm you down and rationalise the situation and diffuse it before it spiralled as I know your emotions were high at the time by the post, by the video and by your life circumstances (I’ve seen you’ve been struggling in the non virtual world) I’d defend any last one of you, I’ve done countless of times against the videos but didn’t want to draw attention to the ones dani made about you because I knew it would upset you and I didn’t want that you didn’t deserve to be upset by someone like that and that’s what they wanted and I wasn’t about to help them with their mission to achieve that. I appreciate every last person who has ever defended me I’m a t of a troll but I promise I’m not cold hearted enough not to acknowledge or appreciate that.
A lot of posters have been so positive and caring towards you, I feel that should acknowledged I feel a lot of people have showed compassion and then been labelled bullies later on. I feel messages can get misunderstood on here and sometimes even I have to take a breath and evaluate things if my head space isn’t the best at the time of reading. The parts that have been posted on here saying things are forgiven too easily ive had adult conversations with people even the original poster who upset you and moved on because in my mind I’m here for the laughs, the jokes and the shared view points and I don’t know anyone beyond here I don’t know anyone’s real names. Ive always been very fond of you nosey, looked for you countless of times when you’ve been quiet, always checked up on you in general and tried to protect you from accounts like Dani, jigsaw and always tried to reassure you when fake lurker said they liked you that I took that as them trying to play us off against each other.
I accepted your apology when it was originally made and I accept it now I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel saddened by being labelled stuff on this thread I’m only human and I think a lot of others feel the same way.
I didn’t react to Rosie leaving as much as I wanted to because I know this situation took over the thread and it isn’t what people are here for. But I don’t want anyone to leave, I don’t want anyone to feel like they cannot post and be on that thread.
I don’t want anyone to feel less important compared to others. We are all here for the same purpose, all have every right to say what we want to say and have a laugh a long the way.
I guess I feel my fondness of you wasnt reciprocated and even in my original post I was trying to help you and acknowledged your feelings throughout in fact your feelings led to a lot of what I was saying I knew they were hurt triggered and spiralling maybe it wasn’t the best timing on my part to try and diffuse that but I interpreted the comment to be advice a little blunt which ownership has been given for that and I just think there needs to be some way forward from this even if you and the member never communicate again.

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Thank you for coming over and acknowledging my post. I wanted you to see it really...well the related parts.
Ironically...it was my fondness of u which hurt me and surprised me. I did and could see what you were trying to do tho....I was too wired up to respond appropriately. I also write messages back far too quickly when I'm in that frame of mind. This is something i need to work on personally and i can do it as I've done it before.
I do regret taking it out on you as it actually wasnt your fault and I can see now that some of what I was seeing then was coming from a calming rational point of view and although I did and do feel u defended them quite readily.. I do believe u had good intention and were trying to help and reassure.
When I reflect back on stuff on and off here I can think more clearly and will hold my hands up and apologise for parts I acknowledge I go overboard on. All the therapy in the world can't stop that immediate unhealthy thought process and reaction. I've often said that it's easier to do CBT after than in the moment.

I think I involuntarily or subconsciously didn't see the positive stuff said or written or don't believe it. Maybe that comes across as me wanting coddling and more reassurance...it's actually not...that's me being honest I just can't or won't see it in real time.
I did appreciate all of the posters saying they liked me etc etc and I am sorry if I threw it back in their faces. Do I believe it whole heartedly...no but that's probably because of my trust and poor self esteem issues and everything from my past and a me issue. I resent this and hv tried more times than ppl know to move forward and get better.
However....when u have those ppl saying those types of warm things and then go on to like very unpleasant posts to me or go on to mock me indirectly...that fuels and justifies those feelings.
I know u or anyone else over there are not going to say even if u do agree but some of the responses from that user to me were uncalled for. The last one was too too much. I can get called out for upsetting you..which I can take on board but everyone is OK with someone speaking to another user like that...especially when they are clearly struggling? It's beyond cruel. If I insinuated others were bullies...I don't think I did..but there is only one person who was demonstrating bullying traits and behaviour and i don't think everyone is one. No good person responds at the start (and mostly at the end) to another person like that. I think that's why Rosie stood up and called it. I feel so bad for her but she is very brave and genuine to do so. If she cud see it...lots of others probably did too but fear being started on. That makes a very honourable person to speak up on such behaviour.

There has been no remorse about the way I was spoken to so that speaks volumes. I never got a genuine apology. Saying...I'm sorry u took it that way is not a genuine reaction. It's a toxic trait I've been exposed to for long enough and no more!
Their initial response was attack... "I cba"
Then it was that they were trying to be nice..do me a favour...come on!

However... I do accept my first reply back to her wasnt great either..regardless of how I felt. I even acknowledged that and apologised. In her reply hours later...that wasnt acknowledged..it was just that torrade of unnecessary nastiness.

I get ppl dont want that crap on the thread. Some ppl come on and share good..bad and ugly and say stuff and I have tried to respond with advice or support. No one can or should control the narrative or content. I do think ppls positive comments to me angered them cuz they just don't like me..that's ok but did i deserve that and then ppl virtually patting her on the back...it's really not on. That's school bully behaviour inciting that s and I don't want to be in a clique of that nature. I hate bullying with a vengeance. I'm calling it out for what it is.

Many ppl have commented non A stuff on there. I have never complained in my head or in real life. Sometimes we all need a bit of care and reassurance and I hv readily given it and don't regret it. I have tried to keep the majority of it on here and I wish I hadn't said so much personal stuff. It's done now though and was then so doesn't need spelling out over and over (which it was by other people) some things are better left unsaid..unless u want to evoke a reaction or provocate that is. Like...no s!

This recent ex relationship has took its toll on me and impacted the way i cope and deal with things..more than I realised.
When i work...I am a different persona and am professionaly and personally distracted when I'm in that position.
People in real life see the real me and still like me and value me. I can't talk to anyone about CC stuff though as they know nothing about it and that says alot that i can't tell them where I am! So unlike other's this is my only sounding off place I guess..other than in my own head.

I also won't have people mocking or trying to ruin what deeper connections/friendships I have on here. That's not fair on me or the others.

I've said a lot but I hope I have responded to most of it. I appreciated your reply and I am sorry if I threw all my cards at you the other night. I don't say sorry when I don't mean it.

RosieJo said:

I 100% felt you were coming from a good place when supporting Nosey. Yes we are there for the same reason but the objective is to chat about Aimee, not become offensive or hurtful to other members, and that member has done this a few times so I think that's where we are kinda thinking, so we really haven't done much apart from me saying it wasn't necessary then coming back at that poster when she came at me. And nosey wasn't being rational same was said at the time and that poster still continued to be "blunt" if that's what we are calling it. But she didn't get any flack for it and will do it again to someone else. But we have left the group. I haven't used the term bully but when someone says they feel bullied then it's what they feel. Maybe I'm to quick to jump to peoples defense when I feel there's an injustice or people are being dicks and tbh because of my profession I could almost feel noseys distress through her messages but that's probably never going to change. I do the same in my real life. I won't walk past someone being hurt here so why would I read it online in a forum I'm part of, to people I chat to regularly and like and allow it. It is what it is now, maybe I'll be back someday but I doubt it. I do hope you are well Lurkey, look after yourself

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I agree with everything u have said. Top to bottom.
You are right to be in your profession with those types of core values...beliefs and actions. Thank you....again

noseyneighbour said:

Thank you for coming over and acknowledging my post. I wanted you to see it really...well the related parts.
Ironically...it was my fondness of u which hurt me and surprised me. I did and could see what you were trying to do tho....I was too wired up to respond appropriately. I also write messages back far too quickly when I'm in that frame of mind. This is something i need to work on personally and i can do it as I've done it before.
I do regret taking it out on you as it actually wasnt your fault and I can see now that some of what I was seeing then was coming from a calming rational point of view and although I did and do feel u defended them quite readily.. I do believe u had good intention and were trying to help and reassure.
When I reflect back on stuff on and off here I can think more clearly and will hold my hands up and apologise for parts I acknowledge I go overboard on. All the therapy in the world can't stop that immediate unhealthy thought process and reaction. I've often said that it's easier to do CBT after than in the moment.

I think I involuntarily or subconsciously didn't see the positive stuff said or written or don't believe it. Maybe that comes across as me wanting coddling and more reassurance...it's actually not...that's me being honest I just can't or won't see it in real time.
I did appreciate all of the posters saying they liked me etc etc and I am sorry if I threw it back in their faces. Do I believe it whole heartedly...no but that's probably because of my trust and poor self esteem issues and everything from my past and a me issue. I resent this and hv tried more times than ppl know to move forward and get better.
However....when u have those ppl saying those types of warm things and then go on to like very unpleasant posts to me or go on to mock me indirectly...that fuels and justifies those feelings.
I know u or anyone else over there are not going to say even if u do agree but some of the responses from that user to me were uncalled for. The last one was too too much. I can get called out for upsetting you..which I can take on board but everyone is OK with someone speaking to another user like that...especially when they are clearly struggling? It's beyond cruel. If I insinuated others were bullies...I don't think I did..but there is only one person who was demonstrating bullying traits and behaviour and i don't think everyone is one. No good person responds at the start (and mostly at the end) to another person like that. I think that's why Rosie stood up and called it. I feel so bad for her but she is very brave and genuine to do so. If she cud see it...lots of others probably did too but fear being started on. That makes a very honourable person to speak up on such behaviour.

There has been no remorse about the way I was spoken to so that speaks volumes. I never got a genuine apology. Saying...I'm sorry u took it that way is not a genuine reaction. It's a toxic trait I've been exposed to for long enough and no more!
Their initial response was attack... "I cba"
Then it was that they were trying to be nice..do me a favour...come on!

However... I do accept my first reply back to her wasnt great either..regardless of how I felt. I even acknowledged that and apologised. In her reply hours later...that wasnt acknowledged..it was just that torrade of unnecessary nastiness.

I get ppl dont want that crap on the thread. Some ppl come on and share good..bad and ugly and say stuff and I have tried to respond with advice or support. No one can or should control the narrative or content. I do think ppls positive comments to me angered them cuz they just don't like me..that's ok but did i deserve that and then ppl virtually patting her on the back...it's really not on. That's school bully behaviour inciting that s and I don't want to be in a clique of that nature. I hate bullying with a vengeance. I'm calling it out for what it is.

Many ppl have commented non A stuff on there. I have never complained in my head or in real life. Sometimes we all need a bit of care and reassurance and I hv readily given it and don't regret it. I have tried to keep the majority of it on here and I wish I hadn't said so much personal stuff. It's done now though and was then so doesn't need spelling out over and over (which it was by other people) some things are better left unsaid..unless u want to evoke a reaction or provocate that is. Like...no s!

This recent ex relationship has took its toll on me and impacted the way i cope and deal with things..more than I realised.
When i work...I am a different persona and am professionaly and personally distracted when I'm in that position.
People in real life see the real me and still like me and value me. I can't talk to anyone about CC stuff though as they know nothing about it and that says alot that i can't tell them where I am! So unlike other's this is my only sounding off place I guess..other than in my own head.

I also won't have people mocking or trying to ruin what deeper connections/friendships I have on here. That's not fair on me or the others.

I've said a lot but I hope I have responded to most of it. I appreciated your reply and I am sorry if I threw all my cards at you the other night. I don't say sorry when I don't mean it.

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I think after all the drama that the thread can have we are all guilty of cba in certain situations and I always try and think that maybe that person was having a bad day also maybe that’s gullible of me but that’s my thoughts.

I haven’t seen anyone mock yours and stand ups conversation personally.
My personal opinion is that those who showed kindness have shown no signs of that being fake, I know some users reacted after reading posts on here which is understandable because they have been kind to you if that makes sense? And they can’t understand why it’s being perceived differently. I understand your thought process and opinion and I value it all the same but this is one of those agree to disagree situations.
I feel the advice around sharing personal experiences from other users was from a place of help and guidance not maliciousness. I understand why you may feel differently as that same comment is what started all this but I’d be the first to say if I thought any differently. Emotions are high right now and that can cloud many things.

I don’t feel like there is a hierarchy personally there is many people who I interact with daily and laugh with and if I don’t necessarily like what someone has posted I just don’t interact. I have had endless amounts of negative experiences on this thread throughout my time on here and I haven’t got the energy or the want for anymore. I think people just tried moving on from the subject. This back and forth scenario is not going to get anyone anywhere but more upset and angry. Apologise have been made on either side and it’s about how we move past this.

And in regards to the thread I think the topic issue isn’t it going off topic it does frequently but with this situation it just carried on and took over the thread and obviously most people are here to dislike A. I don’t feel like anyone has patted eitak on the back but obviously people agree and disagree with people that’s the fact of life we don’t all like or click with the same person, we may agree with one but the other.
I think there just has to be a resolution now because this can’t carry on the way it is it isn’t solving anything it’s just upsetting you more and stressing you more as time goes on.

Standupifyouhateaimee said:

That sounds very interesting and much better than the mundane mandatory training days I go to.
Haha the wrestling practice sounds certainly more interesting
Yes I am actually surprised by that as you have always stood up for others, funny enough I was only thinking about that today. It was not nice yesterday so not surprised you didn't sleep well. I know we are all meant to be just posters online but I think it's been different for some of us....perhaps a anonymous troll life is not quite for us
In all seriousness though just sad at how it went as we did all have a laugh but I guess some care more than others.
I was looking back on posts on this thread and definitely all had a lovely connection.
One of my closest friend's is from where I think you are, also a nurse so I always hear her voice when I read your posts
I noticed there were a couple of us I haven't seen active here for a while so might do a wellness check.

Yes Aimee content is very boring and just how she manages to make everything look absolutely s, I have no idea raving about the view, I just saw rooftops and a bit of blue

My day was ok thanks just wondering what to dish up for dinner, I won't film it though I promise

Yes hope nosey is ok.

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This is part of my mandatory training, we do the 2 days refresher yearly. It's interesting when there's new stuff but the holds and wrestling is all the same. But it's good to refresh cause we don't use all the holds and there can come a time they would need used. No I don't think troll life is for us especially if you mean that little when you leave. But heyho I'd rather be who I am and care about people. God bless you hearing this accent one of my best friends is Scottish and even she sometimes finds it hard to tell what we are saying here Aimees boring as sin, how the hell she makes a living us really beyond me. That view!! I thought the same. She does it all the time and it's like eh? Lol but then where I live I'm used to really beautiful scenery so maybe I'm spoiled lol but nah Aimee it's tops of houses and the sky is barely blue lol
I fell asleep not long after messaging you, I'm in the midst of a flare up so exhausted, in pain and the rest constantly lol but ill get there. Just had food and probably head back to bed soon again!

RosieJo said:

I 100% felt you were coming from a good place when supporting Nosey. Yes we are there for the same reason but the objective is to chat about Aimee, not become offensive or hurtful to other members, and that member has done this a few times so I think that's where we are kinda thinking, so we really haven't done much apart from me saying it wasn't necessary then coming back at that poster when she came at me. And nosey wasn't being rational same was said at the time and that poster still continued to be "blunt" if that's what we are calling it. But she didn't get any flack for it and will do it again to someone else. But we have left the group. I haven't used the term bully but when someone says they feel bullied then it's what they feel. Maybe I'm to quick to jump to peoples defense when I feel there's an injustice or people are being dicks and tbh because of my profession I could almost feel noseys distress through her messages but that's probably never going to change. I do the same in my real life. I won't walk past someone being hurt here so why would I read it online in a forum I'm part of, to people I chat to regularly and like and allow it. It is what it is now, maybe I'll be back someday but I doubt it. I do hope you are well Lurkey, look after yourself

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I think sometimes we all go a little feral, all can be defensive over certain things etc.
with the amount of grief I’ve had my latest one over me not agreeing with the use of a word I’ve learnt that it just isn’t worth it at times and it’s draining and a website forum isn’t worth the stress. I’m not saying you did the wrong thing btw I’m just sharing my thoughts.

a thread made to troll someone is going to be bitchy at points and we won’t get along with everyone but I do feel there comes a point where this needs to be resolved as it’s exhausting for all involved and stressful and upsetting.
You take care also

@noseyneighbour you really don't owe me an apology at all. Its not your fault. I would do it again right now if it was happening to someone else. I'm the same in my real life, I can't walk passed people who are being hurt, I can't stand aside because that's saying that it's OK. People can see it as a flaw if they want but I'd rather be me than ignore someone's suffering or make it worse. I was doing my trauma training today and had you in mind. Please know that your reaction, although it can be viewed as an overreaction to those unwilling to try and understand, is indeed a normal reaction to someone who has trauma. Once in your irrational mind you are in fight or flight and actually probably live in a constant state of fight or flight so you feel everything deeper. Never apologise for that, you are like this because of other people and their actions in causing that trauma or other life events

noseyneighbour said:

I agree with everything u have said. Top to bottom.
You are right to be in your profession with those types of core values...beliefs and actions. Thank you....again

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Awww thankyou, I love my job! I feel that people need to realise that we all have the power to be the difference in someone's day and that's online or in real life. We all can be that breaking point for someone so should all choose to smile at a stranger or be kind. Nobody knows when someone is going to say they are done and your words or kindness can be the thing that makes them go on for another day. Everyone has that power.

Muggle said:

I'm still here just hiding under my bridge until its all normal again. I don't like conflict, reminds me of being married and sets off my anxiety. I am not very good at writing what I want to say, so if I had written anything it would probably have been taken wrong, which is the main reason I rarely text anyone. I do hope Nosey and Rosie don't go, it would be a shame to lose them, feels like they've always been here. Thank you for thinking of me, much appreciated.

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Ah glad you're ok and no worries x
Yes I get that and know exactly what you mean.
I don't either but I must admit it doesn't seem the same anymore. I'm happy to read when A is interesting enough from now on ill look on vav's and here I think.

I’m not derailing the A thread and this thread is open to everyone so as I’m the mentioned in a lot of conversation I’ll reply here as I think I’ve a right to reply, and probably need to if this is going to be resolved. After that I will stay out of this thread as I know you guys use it as a safe space,and reinstate the ignore feature.


NN writes mostly really long deep posts, posts mostly off the topic of A and posts I mostly skipped past as I don’t really know how to interact with a stranger on that deep of a level. For me it’s a forum where we give our opinion on the likes of A, have a laugh and bit of fun. It’s not deeper than that. But it is for her and that’s absolutely fine.

The night in question she wrote a really irritate post about that troll Dani and how she’d used her personal information that she had posted etc. It was quite late on and not many people were online so felt wrong if I ignored it, so thought I’d try be supportive. All I said was to not give the troll the attention they craved, don’t let them get under their skin as wasn’t worth it and to not share personal info for them to use. What is wrong with that exactly? That’s not insulting, rude or bullying (and that Dani had been trying to get under all our skins and I said to others prior to all this to ignore and don’t give the satisfaction etc. I maintain that too). And I’m not a psychic and didn’t realise my support wasn’t the kind she wanted. And wasn’t to know what was going on in her personal life or trauma she’s had or kind of replies that she needs. And I didn’t like her response to my post so just basically said I couldn’t be arsed and didn’t want to argue. And I can’t even describe their behaviour after in any other way than a complete overreaction. From then on I wasn’t pandering.

Now im the bad guy, I’m the one who’s apparently going to turn on others, I’ve been called a bully, a narc, a gaslighter, a manipulator, lacking in empathy, mean girl, no compassion, deluded, not genuine or credible - the list goes on. All because I didn’t help in a way someone deemed the right way and didn’t validate someone’s feelings the way they deem the right way all after getting attacked for trying to help. How is that ok?! And I have stuck up for myself too, I’m not going to write all warm and fuzzy responses to posters who are insulting me and/or attacking me. I mean what do they expect. And also the only other person I’ve ever had a disagreement with is Lurker and we resolved it like adults, so it doesn’t happen all the time. But it somehow seems to be used as validation to keep writing s about me.

It also seems as people didn’t see it the same way as NN and Rosie then that’s what the biggest issue seems to be. Like they expected everyone to gang up on me. Everyone to see it their way. And really if you actually look at their posts it’s them who have been unkind, rude and insulting not me. (Except My Gatwick post which was very poor yes and I apologise, but the rest of my posts I’ve not insulted or ripped anyone’s character apart on them, just stuck up for myself ). And it just keeps coming, saying I’ve mocked how people end messages to others when I haven’t, I was comparing styles and explain people post in different ways so used that as example. It’s got to the point where NN is seeing things she wants to see rather than how they actually are.

I will always be self aware enough to know i don’t always come across well in written form. I have never been able to show affection through written words, only by actions. But I accept we aren’t all going to like everyone and we will not be everyone’s cup of tea, or Posting styles won’t be ones everyone wants to interact with but people can still coexist in a place together as we are adults and this place has an ignore function too. It works on the flip side too, we all have posters we connect with or just get (I have that with so many wonderful souls on the A thread and even one I click with I even had to ask my sister if it was her as we get on that well). I have apologised and tried to explain how my initial post was taken wrong but people won’t accept that so I have to be past caring if people want to accept that as I cannot keep reiterating it. I am quite frankly just aghast to the overreacting, the insults and nasty remarks about me and my character and the complete disregard for the hypocrisy.

But my takeaway piece is I don’t want people leaving cos I’m in the group or thinking the group as a whole is bad cos they interact with me. They are good, incredibly funny people. We’ve all waited a long time to have somewhere to voice our opinions on A. And I just want it to be light hearted . So im happy to move aside from that thread if it makes things easier as I am active in other threads. Just for the sake of the thread and sake of being able to put this to bed now. So I hope after tonight it’s done with, we can act like adults and use the ignore function etc if that’s needed.

RosieJo said:

@noseyneighbour you really don't owe me an apology at all. Its not your fault. I would do it again right now if it was happening to someone else. I'm the same in my real life, I can't walk passed people who are being hurt, I can't stand aside because that's saying that it's OK. People can see it as a flaw if they want but I'd rather be me than ignore someone's suffering or make it worse. I was doing my trauma training today and had you in mind. Please know that your reaction, although it can be viewed as an overreaction to those unwilling to try and understand, is indeed a normal reaction to someone who has trauma. Once in your irrational mind you are in fight or flight and actually probably live in a constant state of fight or flight so you feel everything deeper. Never apologise for that, you are like this because of other people and their actions in causing that trauma or other life events

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Omg.. I've actually welled up reading that! 🥹
I've not ever read anything so real and accurate.
Spot on...it touched deep. Don't care who mocks me for feeling or saying that.
Some people think we blame everything on our pasts and trauma or even make it up...wish I was. None of us asked for what we went through. If anyone lies about going thru it...that's awful!
I had a therapist say to me once...it must be exhausting being in your head at times. She was so right.
After my specialist trauma therapy she gave me a letter she wrote me. I wish I could share it as it was so beautiful and meant so much. She knew how hard I was on myself and said she never forgot that one of the first things I did was apologise saying...you have your work cut out with me..sorry in advance... I was half joking really. However... I do usually say stuff I think ppl may be thinking as it's like self preservation if I say it and own it.
I will never forget her. What I will say is because of what I was living thru with this recent ex...he dominated the sessions as he was affecting me so much. I femt resentful he 'stole' that time.
Oh dear...I'm over sharing again..hopefully not identifiable info tho

I know u say I dont hv to say sorry..but it was because of me and what went down..u felt u had to say something and speak out. I am grateful though..truly.

I like to think I give the people I work with the same commitment and make and difference to their lives as you do...just in a different way...
I have quite an unusual/specialist role but that's all I'm saying.