It’s like they have to follow certain rules:
- say a stupid annoying intro
- chew your food like you have no teeth
- stuff as much food in your gob as you can and then stuff some more in
- mmm and moan when you’re chewing
- circle your hands with your cutlery when you’re eating
- use a knife and fork like a spaz and rip your food rather than cut it
- mention the name of the piece of food you’re about to shove in your mouth
- bite half of the food and show the rest to the camera
- cover your mouth but don’t actually cover your mouth
- make sure to love every single thing you eat even if it’s dry and tastes like s
- chew as loudly as you can to piss everyone off
- make sure you shout thank you to whoever made the food and publicise it rather than just thank them in person off camera
- be sure to ignore everyone around you when you’re eating because the camera is the most important person at the table
- and last but not least, moo as much as you can, moo and moo and moo, even if it’s the fakest moo you’ve ever done, just mo
clearly just telling them, do you not recognise me
