Good morning trowls
Welcome to flight URA2WAT
Anxiety bears are located under your seats and a mental health nurse is on call in case you don't know what outfit to wear. Sick bags are in the pockets in front of you as there's a pungent smell in the air.
A large selection of books that you won't read but makes your bag heavier are required to make you look well read.
I'd also like to remind passengers that you are NOT meant to use bum wipes down an airplane toilet.
The annoying whiny noise the whole way there is the sound of influencers in the wild. We can supply earplugs and parachutes in case you need to exit the flight sharpish.
No main meal just a selection of very fattening puddings and cakes. Oh and popcorn
Y'all will need alcohol from the trolley to get through this one.
Buckle up buttercups, Muchas gracias. Disfruta del espectáculo de mierda.
The Starbar Cabin crew and Captain PlentyOfShhh