Trolling went out of fashion in 2019 hun.
That's right.. because that's the 5 years ago time that you constantly refer to isn't it. That's when you supposedly stopped being a troll and became a good person all of a sudden, you deluded prick.
I can't say that i agree that your sense of 'style' makes you 'out of fashion' because its highly likely that you've never actually been 'in fashion'. I think you've forever tried to play catch up, with everything.
I genuinely feel sorry for you. Despite having a decent roof over your head, mostly healthy kids and no real ill health yourself (although your mental state is often debatable)- so the capability to work, you choose to be a very angry, jealous and bitter person. Its always everyone else that's the problem. Your insecurities are massive but that's no excuse to behave the way you do towards others. You're teaching this to your kids and it'll go one of two ways - they'll either end up exactly the same as you: no friends, no real happiness, no family, no career or they'll do you off altogether and reconnect with the family/Dan's family that you disowned. The only people that have any genuine like for you are those that have the same mentality as you in life - and they're Instagram followers, not even real life people. Is that really what you want? Is that really the example you want to instill in your children?
I experienced my own difficulties as a kid and don't actually have many of my family in my life, but it was the sensible thing to do in order to not descend into becoming the same sort of people that they are. I've experienced some really hard times in my adult life too and instead of letting it turn me into a bitter, nasty person, I chose to rise above it all and set a better example to my child. You'd honestly be amazed at the people you attract in life if you don't behave like an arsehole. And it's really not that difficult. You still have time to reset and start over although you'd probably need to move to a new area because everyone knows who you are and how you behave where you are now and are probably sick to death of you.
Your anger towards Yam confirms your insecurities. She has faced tragedy and some really difficult times in her life and yet she's risen above. She is happy and she is loved. She is intelligent and respected. You will never be/ have any of those things unless you change yourself. Maybe @the_paul_jones is the answer to you becoming a better person.... who knows?