Some corkers from the latest musings of a crackhead -
“I am fighting for my kids, you can clearly see”
On wanting to lose weight - “What do I do? Take drugs, get skinny?” (Spoiler Lou - no, just don’t eat doner pizzas all the time you hungry t)
“I asked ste where he was and he said he was just on the way to southbank. Bless him. How cute.” No idea how this makes the t cute but we move
“I was walking down the street and I was crying and I fell over” SANCTIONED! (Lying t)
“My ankle is so close to breaking every time” cos that happens, doesn’t it? That’s a real occurrence, ankles just nearly breaking and then they just don’t. do off - bend over I can hear you better.
Lou on being sanctioned because she didn’t follow procedure “I think it’s a bit shocking, really!” - I mean, imagine having to have a meeting every week to get money for do all?! It’s shocking!!!! It’s so much easier going to work every day….
“I wanna work, but I can’t move my ankle much” - I mean all these people with debilitating chronic illnesses who still go to work have got it so much easier than our Lou and her ankle.
“My heads mashed tonight. Proper mashed” Just tonight girl?!
She’s confused how to use a battery charger. Just a hunch, but I think it charges batteries you fing gimp from hell.
“Sometimes, I’ll keep things in a box til I need it” - REVOLUTIONARY
“There’s so many things that I want to do, but I dunno, which one do I first?” ANY. fing ANY! Just do SOMETHING you fing shameless reject.
“It’s haaaaard” - non-specific about what is haaaaard.
“I’ve got a few questions for you. If you were going to start fighting for your children…” no question followed. ‘Start’ fighting for your children. But I thought she had been fighting? Drug addled fing halfwit.
“Why have we been allowed to drink out of this by the council?” Referring to a kettle with limescale. That’s the least of your worries, love, you’ve had stes dick in your mouth I’d be more worried about that
Also - why is she wearing a bracelet that says ‘summer’?!?! FASHUN.