I understand, I don’t feel hatred either my luv. I feel deep disappointment, frustration, confusion and hurt but honestly, any emotion/reaction is valid.I feel like as a person of colour I should hate him but I don’t. I’m just so disappointed in him, he was the one creator I went watch when it all got much with the other creators racism & discrimination. He backed us. Feels silly being upset over someone I don’t know but I amwhy did he do that? Was it the real Zak all along? It’s weird
My reaction is shaped by my past racist experiences, of which that anger has subsided over the years. I had to let the anger fade, it was like holding onto burning coal and only damaging me. So who is it for anyone to question my reaction, just as it’s not my place to question others. We truly don’t know what brings others to form the emotions they do
To answer your last question, I honestly don’t know and that’s what’s confusing me too
I’m so nervous too, I haven’t been in school for over 25 years 
I’ve been looking at pretty lever arch files 
