Faceless Friends

Muggle said:

The meditation sounds really interesting and effective, but I'm not sure I could cope with the feelings that it could release. I had similar issues with my parents...no affection, very controlling father, constantly put down, and these have definitely affected me throughout my life and past relationships. Therapy has taught me that my parents behaviour wasn't my fault, but things still lurk at the back of my mind which sometimes I just can't brush to one side. My mother is now in a dementia home, and I hate going to visit, as she still picks fault with anything I do, whether it be my appearance, my job, anything I do. I can never forgive some things she has said/done, but I HAVE to be an adult, the responsible one that deals with her welfare, and makes sure that she has the care she needs. Its a constant emotional struggle.
Sorry for the rant x

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MRS FULL MONTY✨ said:

What’s important here is you’re not forgiving for your mother, you’re forgiving for yourself. Releasing yourself from the pain that you hold for the things that she’s done.
I found this really difficult with my mum, forgiveness. How could I forgive a mother that in my eyes failed me?
But holding on to the pain isn’t hurting her, just me. It’s not getting me any resolution but causing me to harbour the trauma in my body. Which we know leads to illness (and I got the biggy). Left side of our body is all about the female energy, my affected side.
I don’t forgive her, I recognise my pain. But I’ve accepted it ‘happened’. It’s not happening now, so I’ve dropped it so the ripple effect no longer is part of the present.
These guided meditations are not for the faint hearted. I really didn’t think it would work but it did and it was the most surreal thing seeing 3-4 year old me, at the time looking at 36 year old me. I was at my sickest, but she was absolutely delighted at who we’d become. Yet I just felt so much pain for her.
God this will set me off
She was a little fighter then, and we still are now

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MRS FULL MONTY✨ said:

What’s important here is you’re not forgiving for your mother, you’re forgiving for yourself. Releasing yourself from the pain that you hold for the things that she’s done.
I found this really difficult with my mum, forgiveness. How could I forgive a mother that in my eyes failed me?
But holding on to the pain isn’t hurting her, just me. It’s not getting me any resolution but causing me to harbour the trauma in my body. Which we know leads to illness (and I got the biggy). Left side of our body is all about the female energy, my affected side.
I don’t forgive her, I recognise my pain. But I’ve accepted it ‘happened’. It’s not happening now, so I’ve dropped it so the ripple effect no longer is part of the present.
These guided meditations are not for the faint hearted. I really didn’t think it would work but it did and it was the most surreal thing seeing 3-4 year old me, at the time looking at 36 year old me. I was at my sickest, but she was absolutely delighted at who we’d become. Yet I just felt so much pain for her.
God this will set me off
She was a little fighter then, and we still are now

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itsadogslife said:

I’m sorry to hear about your struggles ladies - I know I’ve had mine with my mum! Her choice of husband mostly.
Well done for you all for coming through the other end - and you will continue to fight those struggles for your own children! you’ve all got this

I have a smear tomorrow and I’m nervous, had my first last year (when you hit 25, should be 18 imo) I wasn’t too nervous last year but when you know what’s coming I think it’s worse
Had some unusual bleeding which is why I’m going in but honestly after I spoke to the doctor I realise I think it was because of piles SORRY IF IM GIVING YOU TMI!!! So I’ve shaved and got some anusol cream on what a bank holiday weekend. Most action I’ll have had for a while, feel like I’m going on a date

Enjoy your night everyone & hope everyone’s shifts go fast for everyone who is back to work tomorrow/night

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noseyneighbour said:

Sorry to hear you have had similar struggles
Yes trauma/sty childhoods aren't our fault but it still leaves u with anger..hurt.. resentment and also the ...what cud I have been??
I know I'm a good person with a good heart but I resent a lot of my negative traits.
Hats off to you for doing the 'right thing'
Must be a whole mixture of emotions particularly being exposed to critical and hurtful things.
I think u are doing amazing visiting her as she probably doesn't deserve it/you.
They say....shows more about them than you acting that way. xx

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Muggle said:

Thanks Nosey. I'm still not sure if I'm visiting my mum for her sake, or for mine, so I dont feel guilty for abandoning her in a home. I don't think I'm a bad person, although I can be a bit too blunt sometimes, and say things how they are without thinking how it may hurt someone, which I really dont intend to do. But then I am bad, cos I wish my mother would pass away, so I dont need to be responsible for her. It cant be much quality of life for her now anyway, mind you she never did anything to improve her life when she had the capacity and physical capability, she always wanted everyone else to run around and wait on her. I dont want to be like her, but I know I have her lazy traits, and its a constant struggle to kick myself up the arse and go out and do things, rather than sit and rot on my sofa all the time.
And there I go, ranting again! Sorry, just having a rough few days at the mo x

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noseyneighbour said:

I haven't been on for a few days... has @Standupifyouhateaimee been on/is she ok? I know she's in atm but hope she's OK though as she messaged when she arrived.
Prob just having a lovely time but if u see this twinnie are u ok..having a good time? xx

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allaboardthebirkeybike said:

Sorry forgot to ask. A while ago one lady was having chemo. I think it was every other Tuesday. I was wondering how she is doing. Feel terrible I don't remember who it was

Also @WhoMeNotMe I know you've popped by here and there but I really am thinking of you lots. I hope you're bearing up

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WhoMeNotMe said:

Aww that’s so kind, thank you. I don’t know how I get through the day at times tbh but we have to eh

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allaboardthebirkeybike said:

Sorry forgot to ask. A while ago one lady was having chemo. I think it was every other Tuesday. I was wondering how she is doing. Feel terrible I don't remember who it was

Also @WhoMeNotMe I know you've popped by here and there but I really am thinking of you lots. I hope you're bearing up

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allaboardthebirkeybike said:

Hello all
Not been over on this page for a while. I forget about it tbh and just chat whatever s over on As page. I know it's not for everyone though.. especially Taylor Swift so I'll try to remember to cross over.
Just had a wee scroll a few pages back. Glad you're having a lovely time @Standupifyouhateaimee
From what I have caught I want to join the notion that you're all bloody amazing and doing a fing fabulous job. It really is not lost on me that I really was lucky with 2 good parents. We didn't have everything, but everything we needed. My Mum gave me the brains to become a nurse and my dad reared a football fanatic with a potty mouth Lost Dad 8yrs ago fit as a flea which is why it just doesn't register when people (A) don't appreciate what they have.

I too am very honoured to share some of your stories and feel safe and grateful for your kindness when I rant about my own. Sorry I go on sometimes
Don't care if it makes me sad but I genuinely look forward to not only howling at the latest BS but interacting with some of you gorgeous people

Sending love to anyone who needs it
You're not Shamey
You ARE Fabulous

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Muggle said:

Thanks Nosey. I'm still not sure if I'm visiting my mum for her sake, or for mine, so I dont feel guilty for abandoning her in a home. I don't think I'm a bad person, although I can be a bit too blunt sometimes, and say things how they are without thinking how it may hurt someone, which I really dont intend to do. But then I am bad, cos I wish my mother would pass away, so I dont need to be responsible for her. It cant be much quality of life for her now anyway, mind you she never did anything to improve her life when she had the capacity and physical capability, she always wanted everyone else to run around and wait on her. I dont want to be like her, but I know I have her lazy traits, and its a constant struggle to kick myself up the arse and go out and do things, rather than sit and rot on my sofa all the time.
And there I go, ranting again! Sorry, just having a rough few days at the mo x

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MRS FULL MONTY✨ said:

Woohoo!! Glad you arrived safe. Where did you fly to?

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noseyneighbour said:

I think so..thank you. I'm still paranoid that people don't believe I'm legit lol.
I think I felt unsettled cuz i missed so much (drama and upset) and came back on to questioning and so much change etc etc. More back to my usual self now. (Thinking I'm funny, writing essays kinda thing )

Still need a list of names of who's username is who haha. I thought ibwud create a wiki for ppl to add to but it asked for URL number and I was like what..why...gave up

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itsadogslife said:

I’m sorry to hear about your struggles ladies - I know I’ve had mine with my mum! Her choice of husband mostly.
Well done for you all for coming through the other end - and you will continue to fight those struggles for your own children! you’ve all got this

I have a smear tomorrow and I’m nervous, had my first last year (when you hit 25, should be 18 imo) I wasn’t too nervous last year but when you know what’s coming I think it’s worse
Had some unusual bleeding which is why I’m going in but honestly after I spoke to the doctor I realise I think it was because of piles SORRY IF IM GIVING YOU TMI!!! So I’ve shaved and got some anusol cream on what a bank holiday weekend. Most action I’ll have had for a while, feel like I’m going on a date

Enjoy your night everyone & hope everyone’s shifts go fast for everyone who is back to work tomorrow/night

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noseyneighbour said:

Sorry not been around. Had a few sty days....
Reading about your daughter made me sad. I hate school bullies. My daughter also struggles. Went to uni...bf cheated on her and had a breakdown. She's more of a home bird than a party girl and it just didn't suit her so I pulled her out.

The thing with anxiety and overthinking..it's an emotional drain but overthinkers tend to be the kindest ppl and care too much. So worried about what others think and not upsetting ppl. I'm not saying ppl who don't overthink aren't caring but it's just different. As I have discovered manipulative/narcissistic people are drawn to empaths and take advantage of good natures and seem to relish in the vulnerabilities we have and just take take.

I actually self-harmed too (some say self soothed) when i was younger. I pulled my hair out to the point I had bald patches. Should hv been a red flag as to what was causing me to behave that way...no one raised a thought or reason why. I didn't know why I was doing it at the time until I reflected back.
If we are being open and honest...I still do it 🫣 its a kind of coping mechanism for me i guess. It got worse with the relationship issues. It's embarrassing to admit but easier to admit to 'strangers'
I actually confided in my ex partner one day. He said...oh god..no wonder your daughter is fed up too! Not that reaction I was hoping when i had opened up..

I haven't done the rescue work for a while. I had a nasty injury which affected my ability to continue as I was. I trapped ferals and strays..fostered (and kept...), fundraised...cleaned them all out (50+) hone checks etc. Tool a lot of time but very rewarding. I have 6 rescue cats in total... Spent hours and hours sat in the car in all weathers waiting for traps to go off.(Cat rescue traps not horrible ones)
I rescued a mum and 4 babies and kept them all!! we thought no one cud love them like us and the mums also get forgotten so we kept her too!! She was semi feral and now is a ridiculous fuss pot. I've seen many a feral turn positively given time..trust and patience.

Sorry didn't mean to wrote such a big reply...xx

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