I think
@Poppyseed is right and the money’s gone. They’ve never been transparent and as soon as someone called them out they cried “Troll”. I agree, personal remarks about someone and their family, sharing info that’s not in the public domain, making them feel vulnerable and threatened, that’s absolutely trolling, but pointing out that someone’s behaviour is questionable definitely is not. And R was the one who contacted people’s friends and family and published their private information online, not the other way round. They’ve been too self-righteous and believed their own hype, and if he has gone and left her to deal with all of this on her own (& assuming she’s an innocent party) then that’s shocking, but she can fix it by doing the right thing, and then walking away and mourning him privately if she still feels like it.