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Update from the Captain for flight URA2WAT Toilets to the rear of the plane are closed off for our special guests. 🚫 We apologize in advance for the smell.

Okay so... She's pretty annoying. Monotone nasal voice. Looks like Helga from Allo Allo.

Good morning trowls Welcome to flight URA2WAT Anxiety bears are located under your seats and a mental health nurse is on call in case you don't know what outfit to wear. Sick bags are in the pockets in front of you as there's a pungent smell in the air. A large selection of books that you...

Oh Aimee. When did you start trying to read anything other than your comment section. How I laughed. Or is D3 on the horizon and he reads thrillers? 🤔

That'll be the non existent filters filtering. It won't look like that in real life. It's just an illusion.

Good morning trowls Welcome to flight STAN1FUH8 We hope you've all packed your skincare. A 20k case full should be good to make you look as leathery as our Aimless. We suggest you don't wear Kaiia tracksuits, nobody wants to sit next to a moist smelly vag. If you would like a haircut that...

You know when kids chop their own hair off? Yeah, that.

Just a trim then. That's a shame. A real one may have talked her into lopping it off. She's not going to fit in in Barcelona. All those beautiful cultured ladies will be wondering what the hell has just walked down Las Ramblas.

Is she going to a proper hairdresser or Wendy Scissorhands?

Ooooo so you'll be on tomorrows flight? Any special requests?

Good morning trowls Welcome to flight CATP155. A full flight today. Everyone is off for their half term holidays. If you identify as a teenager even when your only 9 you will be charged full price. By request Chepsi has been added to today's drinks trolley. On the menu we have hammy sammys...

Dear Aimless Are tracksuits the only thing you can squeeze into and be comfortable? You've bought LOADS of dress up items over the past few years, you never go anywhere in them. And nobody, i repeat nobody wants to continuously see you in your skanky bra you weird shaped human. Barcelona has...

Yeah kinda realised I've made a rod for my own back so will have to get creative. Good that I've broke up from work for a week now though. That's real work Aimememe, hard graft for honest money. Let the Barca s show commence 🥳🤪

Good morning trowls Welcome to flight A1M15AD1K (That looks like a crime number) Please be seated and take a look at the flight safety card located in the Home Bargains bag under your seat. We have also provided phone holders in front of your faces so you can gurn at yourselves. Our specials...

Hope you've all enjoyed today's flight on Catpiss Airlines. Bit of a boring one as it was a long HAUL. Let's see where the weekend takes us. Starbar cabin crew at the ready for an early start tomorrow. I've been doing paperwork for ages! I need to go to bed now. Zzzzzz Aimless you've bored me...

Had a quick squint at Shameys soks. Hey Aims, your chins are bigger than your boobs now. Anyway off to catch up on all since this morning ✈️

Good morning trowls (not you Aimless/Jo/Rainbow/Jizzpig) Welcome to flight number AIM15ADIK We hope you managed to book in all your emotional baggage. A quick reminder that the thread can only handle carry on trauma sizes 10-12 or is it 14-16? We have a celebrity on board today. The owner of...

Rainbownotsobright